online counseling Archives - Junhong Cao, Ph.D. (Dr. June)

How to Cope with a Bad Day at Work

Posted on August 16, 2022March 6, 2023 by Victoria

Ever wonder how to reduce work stress? How to deal with burnout at work? or how to get over a bad day at work? If you go to work every day, you know the stress it can bring. Some days you feel motivated and excited to be on the job. On these days, your work gets recognized, you’re laughing with your favorite coworker, you have a tasty lunch, or you get to leave early. However, good days can feel far away sometimes at work. There will be days when work feels draining, and you reluctantly push yourself to get through. How to cope with these problems? This article will improve understanding and discuss tips of healthy coping.

What Could Cause Stress and a Bad Day at Work?

1. Issues with Coworkers

Depending on where you work, you may love or hate your coworkers. There are some places where coworkers become your best friend or even begin to feel like your second family. That is, these people make you feel supported, help you with tasks that need assistance, and create an overall welcoming environment.

It is definitely great to have coworkers like this! Unfortunately, some people do not have this same luxury. Sometimes people have horrible relationships with the people they work with or for. In other words, some coworkers will treat you with hostility and make you feel like you are a bother for asking questions or needing assistance. Other times, there is nothing overtly wrong with the relationship between you and your coworkers, but you all just don’t click. As a result, you may feel like you have no friends at work, lonely, and that your days are full of meaningless small talk and awkwardness.

2. Troubles with Your Boss

Theoretically speaking, a boss should be the person in the office, ensuring a happy and welcoming atmosphere is maintained. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case; they might be at the head of your toxic work environment. Gallup’s Guide shows that one of the top reasons for an employee to leave the job is poor management and leadership.

In fact, some bosses can be quite toxic to deal with. They may micromanage you; you constantly feel like you are being watched under a lens by someone waiting to scold you for a mistake you made. Other times, bosses can make you feel like you don’t matter to them or the company. You’ll feel disposable and put up with their constant criticism or disappointment.

3. Difficult Customers, Clients, or Patients

Sometimes it’s not necessarily the place or people you work with; it could be the people you help or assist that make you feel terrible. Admittedly, some people treat workers horribly. People will be rude to servers, yell at customer service representatives, or just have overall negative attitudes that they spread to everyone they encounter that day. Even if you try your best to help someone, you may still receive rude behavior. Sure enough, this behavior makes you feel awful and ruins your day!

4. Mistakes Were Made

No matter how hard you try, mistakes are still inevitable. As a result, you may have a lousy work day because you learned you made a mistake. Without a doubt, mistakes can be embarrassing, especially if your other coworkers notice them. Your boss may be understanding and give you some helpful guidance, however other times they may get mad at you or call you into their office. Very often, this meeting can ruin your day!

5. All Work and No Play

We dedicate a lot of our lives to work. Obviously there will be times when you might miss your family or friends because work starts consuming your life. Do you remember the last time you had fun or went out? If you are a parent, you may get home late from work and miss eating dinner with your family or putting your kid to bed. Obviously this lack of time with your loved ones can make your day feel empty and frustrating.

Actually overwork is another major reason why employees quit their jobs. Constant overwork apparently leads to burnout and turnover. It could easily cause both physical and emotional exhaustion. That is, it does not only make a bad day, but a bad job.

Work Stress and Burnout Affects Mental Health

When too many bad days at work accumulate, they could easily turn to work stress and burnout. Work can become a huge source of stress in our lives. We can get stressed over many things in a professional setting. Typically these stressors can include:

Deadlines and work piling up
Career changes or thoughts of switching professions or jobs
To-do lists that feel like they will never get done
Lack of work-life balance
The stress if being overworked, underpaid, or more

Actually constant stress over work can be a sign you have anxiety. According to MedlinePlus, stress is “a feeling of emotional or physical tension.” The NIMH states that anxiety usually lives within someone and is chronic. Stress usually goes away after the agitating experience or events pass, whereas someone with anxiety feels symptoms constantly. Work can cause a lot of stress in someone’s daily life.

Also, many people, unfortunately, struggle so much that they face burnout. The MayoClinic defines job burnout as work-related stress that exhausts people physically and emotionally. Researchers suggest that people with burnout face intense exhaustion, aversion to their job, and meaninglessness in their work. Without a doubt, job burnout takes the enjoyment someone once had for their career and squashes it in its tracks.

How to Cope with Work Stress and a Bad Day at Work

We spend most of our days during the week at our job and invest so much time into it. Since we dedicate so much of our lives at work, obviously it is disappointing when we have bad experiences. It feels like we put so much effort in only to get negative results and stress. How to get over a bad day then? Below are some tips:

1. Acknowledge Your Emotions

It is crucial to allow yourself to feel your emotions. When work stresses you out, you may feel overall down and distressed. Please don’t ignore your emotions; instead, embrace them. Why? Because keeping feelings bottled up can cause adverse effects on your life. When you are sad, having a good cry can help to let out your emotions.

To produce more cathartic experiences, you can listen to sad songs, watch emotional movies, or try journaling. Journaling can help you explore how you feel and get to the root of where your emotions are stemming from.

2. Practice Self-Talk

Usually you are more aware of your emotions, rather than what triggered such emotions. For example, you could feel upset and stay frustrated for a long time. Why? Simply because you may have negative self-talk due to work stress. Such negative self-talk could color your thinking in may ways and consequently affect your emotions and behaviors. How to change negative self-talk to a rational one then?

Slow down and visualize a STOP sign in front of you. There are different ways to slow yourself down
- ~ Take deep breaths;
- ~ Tap your shoulders or laps to calm yourself down;
- ~ Walk to a different room or outside;
- ~ Wash your hands for extended time;
Ask yourself, “What’s going on?” “What when through my mind?”
Once you figured out those negative thoughts, ask yourself, “If this happens to my best friend, what would I say to them?” You probably would not say “I bet your boss hates you”, or “I can never do anything right because I am just stupid”.
Change to rational self-talk. Rational self-talk does not have to be positive, it can be neutral as long as it is not emotional. For instance, “I can never do anything right” may be changed to “I made a mistake this time. but this helps me to learn my lesson to improve next time.”

3. Practice Self-Care

When you have bad days, it is essential to practice self-care. For example, when you weren’t treated kindly, maybe by a rude customer or angry boss, you still need to ensure you are treating yourself kindly. In fact, self-care can fall under many categories; you must do what’s best for you.

Self-care options can include:

Engaging in activities that make you happy, like practicing your hobbies or interests
Doing things that help you relax and recharge
- Getting enough sleep, taking a nap, showering, doing skincare
Taking care of your body by feeding it with nurturing food or drinking enough water
Getting your body moving and active
Taking a social media to cleanse and logging off for the night

As a matter of fact, exercising after work can help you feel more relieved if you work remotely or at an office desk all day. Your body may be stiff, and getting it moving through exercise can help you release some of that tension.

4. Vent to Friends and Loved Ones

In tough times, you can benefit from the support of your loved ones around us. After a tough time at work, don’t be afraid to voice your concerns to a loved one. Truth be told, holding in your emotions all to yourself can feel more overwhelming. Instead, allow yourself to open up to others and speak about what you are going through.

Specifically, ask your friend if they can help you. Talk about your issues with them and be open to any advice they may offer you. When you can vent to more people you trust, it actually can help you to reduce stress significantly. The rationale behind it is called desensitization. By repeating your story, the intensity of your emotions can decrease and you could feel better.

5. Increase Self-Compassion

As mentioned before, making mistakes at work can feel embarrassing or upsetting. You may feel discouraged and unmotivated to keep trying. Don’t let your mistakes define you; we all make mistakes, and that’s okay! We are human after all.

Treat yourself with compassion and forgiveness. Remind yourself that mistakes happen, and they aren’t all bad. Indeed, mistakes help us grow, learn, and become better, wiser people. If we make a mistake at work, it can help us know better for next time.

6. Create Boundaries and Work-Life Balance

It can be intimidating to set boundaries at work, but they are essential. We all need a work-life balance. That is, it is not healthy to work all days of the week and never have time to relax, have fun, and see our loved ones. You can start with little steps each day. This can include:

Logging off from your computer or work platform at a set time each day
Decreasing your screen time
Not checking emails after a certain time or on the weekend
Saying “no” more often and not people-pleasing as much

7. Block out Environmental Stressors

As mentioned before, coworkers and supervisors could very well be the reason why you have a bad day at work. Maybe they are having a bad day themselves and spread the mood to you, or maybe their gossips, interactions, and relationships make the work environment more like a dysfunctional family. Whatever it is, you can choose to block out such environmental stressors. Specifically, you can

close your office door if possible;
go outside to get some fresh air;
take a break and leave your desk if you need to;
plug in your headphones, or
get “busy” with phone calls, projects, or anything that can help you to manage those stressors.

8. End the Day with a Clean Slate After a Bad Day at Work

As we all know, it is hard not to bring work stress back home and allow your mood to affect your family life. Since the pandemic started, more people work from home. As convenient as it is, this may easily blur the boundary between work and life. In other words, work may continue to affect at the end of the day because your office and living room or even bedroom are literally in the same place. How to end the day with a clean slate then? Here are a few tips:

Write down a list of tasks that you need to accomplish at work tomorrow. Leave it on your desk and wait till tomorrow to handle;
Make a conscious decision to leave work brain at work and not to bring work related issues back home;
Wash your hands before leaving work. Remind yourself to wash away everything frustrating at work down the sink and go home with a clean mind to your family;
Change your clothes after work. Tell yourself this changes to your family life;
Remind yourself that you work to live, not live to work.

9. Consider Therapy for Work Stress or Burnout

Therapy can help you with any work struggle/general life struggle you are facing! A therapist can give you the tools to handle work stress better, implement mindfulness techniques, and eliminate negative thoughts from your bad days.

If you notice that you feel more stress and it is lingering, you may have anxiety. If you find yourself experiencing endless stress every day, this is not healthy. Talking to a mental health professional can help how to cope with work stress. You will find ways to cope and deal with stressors in your life while still taking care of yourself and living a healthier life.

We offer support for all of the services mentioned above. You don’t have to face your worries alone – learn how to cope with work stress now! Call to set up a consultation today!

Content Creator, Victoria Gallo; Reviewed by Dr. June Cao

How to Deal with Pandemic Stress During Omicron

Posted on February 4, 2022March 6, 2023 by Victoria

We are in the second year of this pandemic. Can you believe that it has been two years since COVID took over our lives and the world? This may be a difficult time for you and you may be experiencing pandemic stress – please know that you are not alone. Recent studies show that 47% of people reported feeling stressed amongst other difficult emotions.

We are living through a worldwide pandemic – who would have ever thought this would have happened? Sometimes, it feels like we are living in a chapter of a history textbook. The positive side of that perspective is that, just like we have read in history textbooks, different generations of people survived challenging times and eventually moved ahead to a new chapter. The world’s future is unknown for now; we need to take things day by day. This, however, doesn’t invalidate any of the stress you may be feeling. This article can help you deal with this stress and hopefully make you feel a little bit safer in these challenging times.

What the Pandemic Has Done to the World:

Unfortunately, it may be hard to remember a time before COVID. It has affected so many parts of our day and has changed how we live our lives. It can be jarring when you look back at old pictures and see how you used to live. There may be many times when you look back on a photo and think to yourself, “I can’t believe I wasn’t wearing a mask!” We are now very accustomed to wearing masks and keeping our distance from people.

Let’s Explore Some of the Other Ways the Pandemic Has Affected This World:

Distanced Us from Other People and Increased Isolation

The phrase “six feet apart” has infiltrated our lives. You may see this phrase on signs, placemats on the floor, or instructions. The distance you may feel is not only shown in this measurement; it is also evident in our lives in many different ways. The pandemic might have distanced you from the people you love.

You may not see your friends or family often in fear of getting sick. You may be fearful that you will expose your older relatives and, for example, haven’t seen your grandma in over a year. COVID has promoted significant isolation in people. People report feeling lonely and scared during these times. Especially with remote work and school, it is hard to meet people nowadays. Kids who go to school online may feel isolated from their friends and find it hard to make connections.

If you work remotely, you may have never even met your co-workers! It is all very isolating and makes it hard for us as social beings to navigate this world.

Created a Division in Our Society

This world feels divided in so many ways already, and the pandemic has only made it worse. You may know people who have strong beliefs on how to handle the pandemic – you either disagree or agree with them. People’s differing beliefs and actions during this pandemic have caused strife amongst us. You may have a friend that doesn’t believe in wearing a mask or getting vaccinated, and you may think the complete opposite. These vast differences cause people to argue, lose touch, and could even ruin their relationship altogether. In a study from 2021, 88% of Americans reported feeling like their nation was divided, even more than before the pandemic.

Made us Fear Doing Mundane Tasks

It’s crazy to think that we could go to the store or go to the movies without even a second thought a few years ago. Now to do such mundane tasks, there is a lingering thought of, “Will I get sick when I go out?”

People are fearful when doing things that would have seemed so simple before 2020. Some people have become afraid of leaving their house because even the slightest task may make them fearful of getting sick. Agoraphobia might occur in people with this constant stress. These people fear that something terrible will happen to them when they are not in the comfort and security of their own homes.

Prevented Us From Living Our Lives

People who enjoy concerts, festivals, or packed events might feel like they cannot safely do that anymore. If you consider yourself adventurous, you might struggle a lot during this pandemic. Concerts have been delayed or canceled, traveling seems impossible, and you may fear going to crowded spaces because of COVID. Many people, especially teens or people in their early twenties, fear that they are wasting their “golden years.” It can be hard to feel like you aren’t missing out on important milestones when this pandemic is taking over.

Cause Immeasurable Loss in Our Lives

The pandemic may have created loss in your life in many ways. People have become unemployed from the pandemic and have been laid off. So many places like hospitals and schools are understaffed. This causes people who work at these understaffed places to take on an increased workload and face immense stress. This stress can cause burnout and people to question if they can even do their job anymore. It feels like they have to choose between making a living or ensuring their wellbeing.

The pandemic may have also taken loved ones from you. COVID may have affected your loved ones and caused them to pass away. This loss may be challenging for you to deal with and makes you extremely upset during these times. Even if COVID has not taken a close loved one from you, it has likely affected so many people you know.

Ways to Deal with Pandemic Stress

First, Check-in With Yourself Daily

It can be hard to navigate immense pandemic stress and challenging times. Make sure that you check in with yourself and see how you feel each day. Some days, you may feel more hopeful and happy in life, and there may be other times when you feel discouraged and sad.

Know that your emotions are valid, and you should embrace them instead of ignoring them. Try journaling about how you feel and making a note of which days are harder than others. When you have a bad day, you can look back on the days that you were happy and find hope that you will feel this way again.

Second, Do Things That Make You Happy

If you check in with yourself and feel upset, try to do something that’ll make you happy. Think about what you enjoy doing. You may enjoy watching a particular show or movie. There may be an album that always brings a smile to your face or gives you a sense of calmness. A hobby can be a great way to release your thoughts and immerse yourself in a creative project.

Another way you can make yourself happy and avoid pandemic stress is by reaching out to people. Social support and finding someone that you can rely on is a healthy way to deal with stress during the pain.

Third, Lean on social support

As mentioned in the prior section, social support is critical during this time. In an age where people feel very isolated and alone, it is essential to rely on people you can trust. You may be fearful of seeing others and feel more comfortable at home, but this does not have to prevent you from socializing. Try implementing Zoom or FaceTime calls with people. You can text your friends and send each other fun videos or pictures.

There are also apps where you can meet people and make new connections. Another way to do so is by joining a new club or class. If you don’t want to go in person, many organizations meet online and do virtual meetings.

Fourth, Turn to Mindfulness in Times of Stress

Mindfulness helps people find peace when experiencing pandemic stress or anxiety. You can practice mindfulness by:

Doing a guided meditation video
Practicing yoga or stretching
Completing a breathing exercise
Taking part in a guided imagery exercise

Mindfulness can also be practiced through accepting your situation. Living through COVID is not ideal and can be very difficult. However, learning to accept these times and this period of your life can help you find peace. Once you feel calmer, you can focus on ways to improve your situation.

Fifth, Encourage Yourself to Get Through Pandemic Stress

Remember: You have survived 100% of your worst days! Remember this when you feel down. Even in the worst moments of your life, you have been able to push through and be where you are today. You have resilience and strength living in you! Try to remind yourself that these times will pass, and you will feel hope and optimism once more.

Ways to Encourage Yourself:

Recite positive affirmations; positive affirmations can help you feel good about yourself and life. These affirmations are ways to attract things you want in your life and promote positivity inside of you.
- You can say: I am…calm, safe, happy with the connections I have in my life, going towards the right direction, facing my fears, etc.
Get inspired by people from the past: you can encourage yourself by thinking about the past generations. There have been many periods in history that were hard for people to deal with, for example, the Great Depression. You may have grandparents or great-grandparents that lived through this time. This was a time when people were very sad and absent of hope. Seeing people get through these challenging times can motivate you to do the same.
- If you are fortunate enough to have some of these relatives alive still, go to them for advice or guidance
- Remember that we are resilient, and humans can adapt to way more than you think. Rely on strength from your ancestors, and remember that they are rooting you on!

Sixty, Don’t Do Things that Make You Uncomfortable

There have been many ups and downs during this pandemic. When there is a surge in cases, you may feel even more stress than usual. This can cause you to avoid going out to crowded places or doing certain activities. Check-in with yourself, as mentioned before, and see how you are feeling. If you feel like you don’t feel safe and a specific plan would cause you anxiety, don’t feel obligated to do it. If someone is peer pressuring you to do something that makes you uncomfortable, that is not okay! Listen to your intuition and honor your comfort level. Your boundaries matter, and you deserve to feel safe! If you decide to go out, try to be safe by wearing your mask and keeping your distance.

Seventh, Consider Going to Therapy for Pandemic Stress

Unfortunately, many people are experiencing depression and pandemic stress during these years. You do not deserve to struggle alone! A therapist can help you get through these times, provide support, and guide you in finding hope once again. Our team of therapists would love to help you! Our team will help you with depression, anxiety, self-esteem, and any other problems you may be facing.

Online Therapy Questions and Answers

Posted on February 5, 2021March 6, 2023 by junecao

Online therapy is the method most therapists have turned to during this pandemic. Whether you are dealing with mental health issues, or any struggles caused by COVID, talking to an online therapist can help you through these challenging times and improve your overall well-being. Long before corona virus started, Dr. June and her team have used tele-therapy to help a lot of clients. You may be interested in learning more about this medium of therapy. Have questions about online counseling? We got answers for you.

Is online therapy effective?

You may be skeptical about the effectiveness of therapy behind a screen or through a phone. Research has shown that online therapy can benefit people in the same way as it does in therapy in office when it comes to cope with mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, and adjustment difficulties, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Through these digital mediums, Similarly, CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) through video therapy was proved to be as helpful as in-person therapy in treatment for anxiety and depression. A simple answer to the question, online therapy is as effective as in-person therapy.

How does video therapy work?

Tele-therapy through video calls, or video therapy, may feel the most similar to in-person interaction with a therapist. Video calls simulate face-to-face interaction and, in a time where social isolation is prevalent, this may help to produce a feeling of normality to a client. Meanwhile, video therapy has the benefit of showing your face without a mask. This helps the therapist to see the biggest portion of your body language to detect your feelings.

What mental health issues can tele-therapy help me with?

Tele-therapy can help to deal with almost all issues in-person therapy covers such as,

anxiety in various forms such as generalized anxiety, social anxiety, OCD, PTSD, panic, phobias
depression
stress
anger issues
trauma
eating disorders
emotion regulation
relationship issues
loss and grief
adult ADHD
teenager struggles with mental health
couples therapy
family therapy

Is online therapy confidential?

Naturally you may be concerned about the confidentiality of your online therapy. Make sure you use HIPAA compliant platforms besides the regular assurance therapists promise in therapy in office. The U.S. Department of Health & Human Services has compiled a list of platforms that are HIPAA compliant. The top 5 platforms are:

Zoom for Healthcare,
Doxy.me,
Simple Practice
Thera-LINK
VSee

Dr. June and her team use Zoom for Healthcare to ensure it is HIPAA compliant and protect your confidentiality.

Can we have online couples therapy?

Yes, online therapy can benefit couples as well. When couples live in the same house, sitting together and communicating through a singular device can simulate an in-person therapy session. In fact, having to sit closer together for visibility on the camera may even make the couple feel more connected during the session; physical closeness can indicate how emotionally in touch partners feel with each other. This closeness can be important for experiencing “eye-contact and physical touch” during the session.

In particular, online couples therapy seems more convenient and beneficial if you are in a long-distance relationship. Tele-therapy gives these couples a platform to receive therapy even though they are geographically separated. Although they cannot sit next to their partner and benefit from the physical closeness, online couples therapy may increase their understanding of each other and themselves. Clients can “see not only their partner’s nonverbal behavior, but their own as well,” through the device’s screen. Clients are able to experience what they look like from their partner’s point of view; this may help the partners work on their own “maladaptive behaviors” and better understand the other’s perspective.

How do I pay?

You can make payments online for tele mental health. This can be accomplished using a credit card or other types of electronic payment transfer. Square and Ivy Pay seem to be more popular credit card platform among many therapists on tele-therapy.

Are there any differences between online and in-person therapy?

Understandably you may miss the cozy and private space in your therapist’s office. You can pour your heart out and share your feelings freely with your therapist. Not being in the same room as your therapist during your session seems to be the most glaring difference between online and in-person therapy. Video therapy is a way to recreate that same face-to-face feeling. Besides, some people may feel more comfortable sharing their emotions behind a screen, which might help them convey their deeper thoughts more readily. Although most therapists prefer being in-person to observe a client’s cues and body language more clearly, video therapy still allows for the client’s face/ facial expressions to be visible.

What are the advantages of online therapy?

There is no more commute from your office all the way to your therapist’s office, which means you don’t need to worry about being late for your session
No risk running into a co-worker in the waiting area outside of your therapist’s office
You can sit or even lie comfortably in your own couch to talk to your therapist
It is convenient even if you have to travel out of town
If you have social anxiety or agoraphobia, tele-therapy could be a better option for you to initially manage your fear of talking to your therapist’s receptionist.

I live in a small apartment with roommates or a partner in NYC, what can I do?

Communicate with the people you live with about your privacy concerns.
Ask your roommate to go on a walk during your 45-minute session,
Ask them to put headphones on while you are talking to your therapist.
You can use headphones during the session; this will make your therapist’s voice only available to your ears.
Play a white noise machine or app to help mask the conversation from other people.
Type your questions or responses on the Zoom screen if you have to

How to prepare for my online therapy session?

Find a quiet, safe, and private place to talk to your therapist.
Ensure stable internet access and a charged device to speak to your therapist will make your experience in your session run smoothly.
Put devices in your house on silent or low volume to minimize distraction.
Do what makes you feel comfortable – wear comfortably and sit in your favorite fluffy chair, in your car, or even lie in couch.
Prepare some tissue just in case you may need. Have water or coffee in front of you.
Have a pen and paper (if you still use them) or simply your phone ready to take notes in session

Dr. June and her team aim to provide the best online therapy experience you are looking for. Call us free for 15 minutes and book your session. Your online therapy session is hopefully bringing you one step closer to achieving your most successful and happy self. Be proud of yourself for looking to support. Good luck with your online therapy experience.

LSpecial thanks to the contribution of Victoria Gallo, B.A. in Psychology from The College of New Jersey.