What is Sunday Scaries
Sunday Scaries, also called Sunday blues, Sunday depression, Sunday anxiety, or Sunday night syndrome. It is the dread that shows up at some point on Sunday when you realize another workweek will start in hours. You could feel nervous, restless, uneasy, irritable, or even have physical symptoms of stomach issues, headache, heart pounding, and insomnia. This anticipatory anxiety may build up to make you feel miserable for the rest of the weekend. Per recent Monster polling, about 67% experience the Sunday Scaries each week.
From the psychological perspective, Sunday Scaries is the type of anxiety or stress that people react or respond to the threat they perceive. The perceived threat could be the fear of performance at work during the workweek, supervisors’ evaluation, challenges of juggling all tasks with work and life, such as doctors’ appointments, childcare while at work, all the bills, clients’ comments, relationship with a coworker, or decision to return to office. In this process, we face all uncertainties that are anxiety provoking and easily lead to “what-ifs”, such as “what if my supervisor thinks I am an idiot”, “what if I lose my job”, “how can I handle if we don’t have medical insurance any more?”
Obviously, when we focus on uncertainties, we tend to underestimate our capabilities to cope with all the stress. Hence, the overwhelming pressure and helplessness could further exacerbate the fear and anxiety. That is to say, Sunday Scaries makes us feel uncomfortable, but we can manage it well by changing our thinking and behaviors.
The Pandemic Worsens Sunday Scaries
The pandemic has worsened the Sunday Scaries. With a record number of people working from home, our work and life has blended together. Despite more flexibility we may have, work could easily take our personal space. Prior to the pandemic, what we used to do on a weekday are happy hours, lunch out, or other socialization. Now our weekday routine is about work, Zoom meetings, child care, and mere human interaction. Weekends feel almost like boring rituals of another day, no outing, no gathering, and not much enjoyment. That is, the workdays actually become longer.
Besides, many remote workers have admitted that they work on weekends, too. Let’s face it, the re-opening and returning to office process has brought some level of stress and anxiety to employees as well. Research has also suggested increased substance use during the pandemic, or more people probably need extra time to get over their hangover on Sunday.
How to Cope with Sunday Scaries
1. Clear your Mind
As mentioned before, if Sunday Scaries stems from perceived threat, then you can learn to manage this anxiety better by changing such perceptions. This involves taking steps to actively clear your mind first. This requires you to ask yourself some questions, such as,
- What is your Sunday Scaries all about?
- The core of your fears?
- What do you worry about the most?
- The worst case scenario?
- What are your solutions when worst comes worst?
It is also essential to try to accept that things can go wrong and there is no certainty in life. However, if you were able to manage it in the past, you can cope now too. Clearing your mind could also mean focusing on your capabilities of handling work and life. It is a great idea to remind yourself of your leverage, experiences, skills, and achievements. Focusing on your strengths can help your transition from weekend to weekday a little easier.
2. Set the Relaxing Tone for the Weekend
Make conscious decision that your weekend is to relax, your goal is to be compassionate with yourself and take good care of yourself. Self-care is not just a buzzword, it is a decision to prioritize yourself and have your needs met. Everything else can wait, that is, work can wait, you don’t have to check emails or answer work phone calls. You may find something helps you to relax more than others. It can be a bubble bath, a nice meal, a book, music, arts, gardening, swimming, a walk, or any exercise.
3. Set aside a “Worry Time”
Those negative anxious thoughts on Sunday are likely to come up automatically. Therefore, creating a “worry time” of 15 minutes could help you to handle those worries directly. For example, if your “worry time” is 7:30pm, spend this entire time thinking only about your worries and negative thoughts. Write them down in your journal. At the end of 15 minutes, let go of those worries with some Calming Breaths, then return to other activities.
If you start to worry before your “worry time”, tell yourself you will wait till your regular time to focus on all the worries. This way, you dwell on your worst fears and you go over them repeatedly. Chances are, when you review the same material in detail again and again, eventually this kind of exposure reduces the meaning attached to your worries.
4. Create a To-Do-List
If you have too much on your plate and that triggers your Sunday Scaries, it is a good idea to take some time on Friday night to plan your weekend and the coming week. Write down what you hope to accomplish over the weekend and your priorities for next week. This way, you are being proactive about the week to come. The benefits of planning, making to-do-lists, and thinking about the future will reduce your stress.
5. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is about the process of focusing non-judgmental awareness thoughts, feelings, and sensations. When the fears and anxiety attack you on Sunday afternoon, practicing mindfulness helps you to shift attention from worries to the present moment. You can also practice mindfulness at any time. When you walk outside, cook, eat, clean, take a shower, take a test, or work out.
Simply put, mindfulness is like “meditation on-the-go.” When you remain mindful, you live from moment to moment, instead of ruminating on the past or worrying about the future. Even if you have uncomfortable thoughts, you do not have to react upon them. By accepting their existence and letting them pass, you can develop a new response to fear and anxiety. With practice, mindfulness meditation can help you to create inner peace and less anxiety.
6. Seek Support
You don’t have to deal with the Sunday Scaries alone. Check in with family, friends, and loved ones. Vent to them, laugh with them, cry on their shoulders, or simply sit there together and do nothing. Find a support group for people with similar experiences. Maybe you can make friends and help support one another. The sense of community can empower you to cope with your Sunday Scaries better.
7. Get Therapy
Therapy could help you to get to the core of your underlying issues. On the surface level, Sunday Scaries is some uneasiness, a good therapist can help you to dig out why it happened, what the deeper issues are, how to change it. Seeking professional help is always a great way to better your mind, deal with your emotions better, respond to stressors in a calmer way, and let go of the baggage in order to heal. Besides, therapy helps you to change your thoughts and use healthier ways of thinking.
Dr. June and her team are therapists to help you to manage your anxiety about work, life, relationship, and health. Give us a call free for 15 minutes and we will help you to practice skills to deal with your Sunday Scaries.