The Beginner’s Guide to Self-Love

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. ~Oscar Wilde

What is self love anyways? Self love is the act of valuing your own happiness and putting your physical, emotional and mental well-being first. In other words, it is acceptance, unconditional support, caring, and compassion for the self.  As cheesy as it may sound, learning to love yourself is one of the most powerful tools to make your life better.

Why is self love important?

Self-love involves acting the same way towards yourself whether everything goes well or when you have a difficult time. Even if you make a mistake, or fail, with self-compassion, you give yourself the same kindness and care you’d give to a good friend. What are the benefits of self-love? Below are some examples:

Self-love motivates you to make healthy decisions in life.

When you hold yourself in high esteem, you’re more likely to choose things that nurture yourself  and serve you well. That is to say, loving yourself can be cultivated to reduce stress,  anxiety, depression, self-hatred, and image problem. Indeed, it helps to lead to happiness, self-confidence and improved immune function.

Self-love assists you to liberate yourself from constant comparisons.

How many times have you called yourself a “loser”? It could happen when you scroll through Instagram and see a “friend” bragging about their fancy dinner, perfect body, and amazing life. Nevertheless, when you learn to truly love yourself, you know you are enough and you do not see the need to compare yourself to others.

You learn to be more confident. 

With self compassion and love, it is natural to have self acceptance for who you are non-judgmentally. In other words, it makes it easier to embrace your flaws and forgive your mistakes. Such enhanced confidence can in turn develop your security and compassion towards yourself.

Self-love builds your resilience to go through hard times.

In reality, challenges and mistakes often lead to self-blaming, self-criticism, and self-punishment. How many times did you call yourself names like “I’m so stupid”, “I’m a failure”, “No one likes me”? Generally loving yourself means you learn to talk to yourself the way you would talk to your close friend. In effect, you open your heart to support, encourage, and care with kindness and a gentle tone. 

Self-love expands your vision to develop and maintain a healthy relationship.

Truth be told, the way you treat yourself will teach others how you want to be treated by them. Without enough self compassion, you may be eager to please others and unable to say no. Unfortunately this could easily open the door for others to disrespect you or even abuse you in a relationship. Self-love empowers you to set clear boundaries, communicate assertively, and protect yourself when you need to. All of these pave the way for a healthy relationship of mutual respect and balance.

Write a love letter to yourself

Today, begin your self-love journey by writing a love letter to yourself and be reminded that the biggest love you need is your own! 

Dear me,

I seldom tell you how much I admire you, how beautiful and caring and intelligent and strong you are, that I love you!

I want to hug you, praise you, cherish you, and appreciate you for the incredible person that you are, for all the beauty and life you bring to this world!

I want to be there for you, I want to take good care of you, I want to fight for you, I want to protect you, and I want to accept you for who you are!

Please, do not care what others think, do not be afraid to be different, do not be ashamed of who you are.

You do not need others’ approval, love, or friendship to be whole.

You are enough!

You are worthy!

You are unique!

You are beautiful!

You are great!

You deserve the best!

You matter!

You are allowed to say NO!

I believe in you, and once again,I love you!

Love Forever,

Me