Category: Wellness

Healing Asian Shame Related To COVID

Healing Asian Shame Related To COVID

Posted on by junecao
how to deal with shame

Shame is a negative self-evaluation with roots in messages you receive from others. It typically comes up when you evaluate or criticize yourself harshly, often for things you do not have much control over. For example, a shameful self-talk could be

  • “I am bad”,
  • “It is my fault”, or
  • “I am worthless”

Shame could be closely related to illness such as COVID. After getting infected, people may perceive themselves as defective and powerless, triggering self-criticism toward the entire self with shameful thoughts of inferiority and weakness.  Certain community such as Asians and Pacific Islanders (AAPI) seem to feel more shame than others when facing COVID. Different reasons may explain the shame issue associated with COVID in the AAPI community. 

Asian Shame and Stigma with COVID

1. Social stigma and discrimination

The way that an illness is viewed by society affects how a person with that illness feels and behaves. HIV is an example of having shame and stigma associated with people who are infected as “threats”. In terms of COVID, it is viewed as something dangerous, shameful or contagious to others because of “your fault,” then it is not uncommon for people to have feelings of self-stigmatization and shame. 

2. Asian culture beliefs

Cultural factors may be another reason that the Asian community feel more shame. Shame often has a cultural component. How a person experiences shame and which experiences are likely to induce shame could be different in different cultures. In collectivist cultures in the Asian community, a person may experience shame due to someone else’s actions, that is, they feel they are responsible for other people of their similar background or decedents. The “losing face” concept is simply the fear of abandonment by the community if ever anything shameful happened to them. Even if getting COVID is out of their control, it may still be considered something inferior as it could infect and burden others, hence bring disharmony to the family and community.

3. Public shaming on social media

Public shaming and blaming may have further amplified shame in the Asian community. Social media has spread misinformation, and stigma associated with COVID. Media outlet has become one of the main factors contributing to discrimination and xenophobia. Tens of thousands of misleading headlines and posts with hashtag such as #Chinese virus, #WuhanVirus #KungFlu have been found on Instagram, Twitter, FaceBook and other social media. Such posts have flamed anti-Asian sentiment and acts of anti-Asian attack, violence, and Asian hate crimes. Such social rejection and blaming could easily induce shameful feelings in the Asian community.

Negative Effects of Shame on Mental Health.

Unresolved shame can have catastrophic effects on mental health. Toxic shame have been linked to feelings of isolation, anger, low self-esteem, and self-hatred. These unwanted feelings could lead to depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts and behaviors. The recent Asian hate crimes may have instigated more shame, anger, and trauma to  people in the Asian community.  However, the AAPI community are know to have stigma towards mental health and reluctant to seek professional help. Without proper intervention, they are overall at a higher risk both physically and psychologically. 

How To Deal With Shame Associated With COVID

1. Let out the shame.

Asian shameShame derives much of its power from secrecy. The best way to deal with shame is to let it out, not to bottle it up. Sharing your difficult emotions with a family member, a trusted friend, or a member in your community, is very helpful to process your emotions. Talking to others is continual exposure, which is the best intervention to diffuse and reduce difficult emotions. It is also a reminder to distinguish yourself from COVID your illness, as well as the truth about your value from your identity.

2. Journaling is effective against shame.

Journaling allows you to talk to yourself, express your feelings, clear your mind, and sort through the shameful thoughts. By facing your story without shying away, you use your rational mind to own your story. This is a necessary step towards defeating shame and improve shame resilience.

3. Practice relaxation or mindfulness to reduce shame.

This is to calm your central nervous system to clear your mind and recharge your body. Mindfulness and relaxation may be in different forms to alleviate the feeling of shame. When you observe your breathing, walk your dog, take a nap, reading a good book, take a bubble bath, practice yoga, listen to your favorite music, cuddle with your pet, you are immersed in the moment, reconnect with your inner strength, and feel the peace and tranquility to stay away from shame. 

4. Practice self-compassion. 

Self-compassion usually involves positive self-talk or self-affirmation. Shame functions in the way that promotes your brain to negative self-talks. To reduce shame, you will learn to re-program your brain to replace the negative with positive self-talks. When your mind says, “It’s all my fault”, the self-compassionate mind will learn to correct yourself with “I might have made a mistake, but who is perfect? I can always learn from my past and improve myself.”

5. Look for support within your community.

Find a virtual support group, reach out to a cultural or community center, school or youth counselor, sports coach, religious organization, like-minded people on social media, or a respected neighbor in your area.

6. Voice your needs.

If you are outraged by the discriminatory violence and sentiments that lead to shame, you can speak up. Your opinion matters! Sign a petition, engage in the conversation on social media, and find other people who are passionate about putting an end to the wrong that causes the feeling of shame associated with getting COVID. Your advocacy could not only help to alleviate your shameful feelings, but empower other people to fight the inequality.

7. Seek professional help.

You do not need to endure and tough through the feeling of shame alone. Seeking therapy can help you to process your emotions, get treated for symptoms, reduce possible consequences, heal from trauma, accept yourself with compassion, and improve your well-being. It is important to find a psychologist or a therapist who speaks your language and understands your cultural background. 

Our therapists are here to help you to deal with shame and other difficult emotions. Give us a call to schedule an online therapy session to start the journey of healing.

Take Good Care Of Your Inner Child 善待内心受伤的小孩

Take Good Care Of Your Inner Child 善待内心受伤的小孩

Posted on by junecao
childhood trauma

Childhood Trauma 原生家庭问题

我们在童年时期经历的创伤，或者是原生家庭出现的问题，可能会给一生带来深刻的影响。这包括：

  • 精神困扰或行为障碍：焦虑症，抑郁症，边缘性人格障碍等
  • 自卑，低自尊，自我价值低
  • 不信任他人，或很难与他人建立亲密关系
  • 难以表达自己的情绪，无法控制情绪，暴躁
  • 欺骗他人，或有反社会行为
  • 酗酒，吸烟，或其他物质成瘾和物质依赖问题

Why Childhood Trauma Could Affect Us So Much 原生家庭带来的创伤为什么会对孩子产生这么大的影响呢？

1. 孩子健康的成长需要家长提供物质和精神两方面的养育和关心。如果任意一点出现了缺失而让孩子受到伤害，他们会有种被父母抛弃的感觉。这也是为什么父母的辱骂、忽视、伤害等感情供养的缺失会给孩子带来情感创伤的原因。孩子会觉得生存环境是不安全的，自己随时会被父母抛弃。长大之后，有原生家庭创伤的人会难以与他人建立健康的亲密关系，甚至无法处理好与自己家庭、子女的关系。这是因为他们依然是那个没长大的“孩子”，害怕被自己的另一半抛弃，或被自己的孩子抛弃。

2. 与害怕被抛弃的恐惧同时存在的是孩子的生存欲。为了让自己不被抛弃，孩子会用各种方法引起父母的关注。例如：讨好父母，故意破坏环境、玩具，破坏与父母的关系等。因为吸引到父母的注意力，才能代表自己是被关心、爱护的。但是，这种行为会给孩子带来恐惧、悲伤和极端情绪等负面影响。这也是为什么很多成年人会因为儿时的创伤而产生焦虑、抑郁和边缘性人格障碍等精神方面的困扰。

3. 许多孩子天生就对情绪非常敏感。如果他们生活在一个给他们带来伤害的家庭环境中，创伤会尤其严重。因为他们会敏感的把环境中的负面能量吸收到自己身上来。相比较于大大咧咧的孩子，生性敏感且经历创伤的孩子更难以控制情绪，且更容易在孩童时期就表现出负面感情。例如：有挫败感，害羞，悲伤，情绪化等。因此，面对敏感型儿童，家长更应该用温和、正面、积极的教育方式来对待。

How Could Children Be Traumatized孩子被伤害的事例

1. 孩子如果被原生家庭严重伤害，产生的创伤会影响大脑荷尔蒙的分泌。创伤会让大脑分泌压力荷尔蒙（例如：皮质醇和肾上腺素）。此时的大脑会忙于应对创伤和压力，而无暇顾及其他情感。快乐荷尔蒙（例如多巴胺）就无法分泌。长此以往会导致抑郁和焦虑以及各种身体疾病的产生。

2. 被父母体罚、辱骂或过分控制的孩子更有可能患有边缘性人格障碍。有这种人格障碍的人会在人际关系和情绪等方面极其不稳定且冲动。严重的甚至会出现自我伤害的行为。他们会极其依赖他人，而且无法发展独立的自我。边缘性人格障碍是公认的一种重大的心理问题。

How Could Therapy Help With Your Childhood Issues? 心理咨询能做什么？

首先，我们要说明的是，心理咨询或者药物能够治疗创伤所表现出的症状，例如焦虑或者抑郁。对于创伤本身，是没有药物可以治愈的。但是，心理咨询能做的有很多：

1. 对于父母，心理咨询可以让他们提升自我认知，意识到问题所在，以及对孩子做出补偿。每个家长都是第一次为人父母，在教育孩子方面或多或少会出现问题。心理咨询可以让父母意识到自己可能无意中伤害过孩子，进而学习怎样跟孩子更好的建立关系。其实帮助孩子的过程就是在帮助自己，毕竟每个人都可能是那个曾经受过伤的“孩子”。

2. 对于“孩子”，心理咨询可以帮助他们跟自己的创伤和解。在帮助受创伤的人建立正确认知的同时，也建立对他人的信任。

你不需要逼自己原谅或者和解，但你可以选择放下过去。心理咨询让那个受伤的“孩子”尝试做自己的父母，善待自己。

许多受原生家庭影响的人用不健康的方式去处理创伤带来的激烈情绪。例如：酗酒，抽烟，自我伤害，自暴自弃等。这些不健康的调整方式，必然会影响他们的工作、生活、学业以及感情。因此，来自原生家庭的旧创伤还没有解决，又遇到生活中新的问题。这时，心理咨询可以帮助有创伤的人去除旧的习惯，建立新的认知。学习健康的、积极的调整方式来缓解创伤。

我们总会听周围的同龄人说：“我以后如果有孩子一定不会像我父母对待我那样去对待我自己的孩子。”这句话其实正说明我们的认知在往积极、正面的方向发展。希望大家在读完本期文章之后，能更好的了解到原生家庭的问题。对自己和父母有一个新的认识。

跟我们联系吧。我们的咨询师可以帮助您更好的理解原生家庭带来的创伤和各种问题，帮助您善待内心那个受伤的孩子，重新找回自己，更加积极健康的生活。

Special thanks to the contribution of our psychotherapist Xiaojing Wei, LMSW

Mindfulness Meditation For Anxiety And Depression 用正念冥想减轻焦虑和抑郁

Mindfulness Meditation For Anxiety And Depression 用正念冥想减轻焦虑和抑郁

Posted on by junecao

这个视频是一个中文的放松练习，正念冥想(mindfulness meditation)。做一做试试看会不会帮你放松自己。

在日常生活中，我们可能会因为工作劳累而喘不过气； 人际交往中有时紧张的总想退缩；脑子里总是有各种各样的想法冒出来，让人睡不好觉却赶都赶不走；还有时候陷入一种负面情绪里面，感觉怎么也走不出来。你不是一个人，我们很多人或多或少都会这样。

什么是正念冥想(What is Mindfulness Meditation)

正念(Mindfulness)，是一种注意力高度集中的状态。比如说，当我们在读书、学习或者做一件很感兴趣的事情时，我们会非常专注而忘记了时间的流逝，甚至不会意识到周围环境里都发生了什么。

如果我们处在正念的状态中，精神上和身体上是非常平和、放松的。因此，正念的积极作用让其被广泛应用在心理咨询领域。经过研究显示，正念活动对缓解焦虑和抑郁有非常有效的作用。

正念相关的活动有哪些？(Types of Mindfulness)

正念活动的种类有很多。除了我们今天将要讲到的正念冥想，其他还有：

这些都是舒缓压力和放松自我的好方法。你可能会觉得，这些正念活动在我们东方文化当中是很常见的，它是如何在西方科学里成为心理治疗的常用方法呢？

其实，正念一词源自于佛教文化，而且心理学同佛教文化两者的理论、概念中有许多不谋而合的地方：两者都注重减少人的痛苦，提升人的幸福感。两者都强调成长的重要性。两者都认为人应对万物有怜悯心并保持积极的态度.

正念冥想是什么？(What is Mindfulness Meditation)

正念冥想是众多正念活动当中最具有代表性的一种。常见的形式有：呼吸练习，引导想象，以及其他可以放松大脑和身体并减小压力的练习。正念冥想是正念活动当中被广泛应用且被科研证实有效的心理治疗方法。

冥想追求的是把注意力集中在当下，暂时摒弃大脑中对任何事物的评判和解释。意识到当下这一刻所发生的事，并用开放的心态去接纳它。而不是加以评判，抱怨，或者改变。

正念冥想的作用(How does Mindfulness Help?)

科学研究证明，正念能帮助我们改善心理、情绪、身体、脑认知、注意力和精神的整体健康水平，帮助我们回归自我，看清自我，化解自己生命的负能量。正念冥想对于许多心理问题都有很好的治疗效果。这包括：

  • 焦虑(anxiety)
  • 紧张(fear)
  • 抑郁(depression)
  • 失眠(insomnia)
  • 压力过大(stress)
  • 情绪失控(emotion regulation)
  • 过度紧张引起的高血压、糖尿病(hyertension & diabetes)

除此之外，正念冥想还有其他作用，例如：提升专注度，降低工作压力，提升情绪管理水平、自我觉察、睡眠质量，以及帮助控制糖尿病等。

初学者如何开始练习正念冥想 (How to Practice Mindfulness Meditation as a Beginner?)

1. 在准备做冥想的时候，无论坐在地上，沙发上或者是床上，找到一个让自己舒服和放松的姿势是非常重要的。

2. 其次，一定要给自己几分钟的时间。冥想练习的时长因人而异。但对于初学者，我们建议您安静的享受冥想5到10分钟即可。这样的时长足以起到放松大脑的作用。

3. 冥想练习中，将注意力放在自己的呼吸上是快速放松的重要方法。我们可以试着关注自己呼气和吸气的动作，自己呼吸时身体的起伏，以及鼻间流动的气息等。

mindfulness meditation

初学者练习冥想可能遇到的问题 (Overcome Difficulties in Practicing Mindfulness)

1. 初学者在做冥想的时候可能会不习惯这种放松形式。如果在练习过程中无法集中注意力，无法正确的调整呼吸都是可以理解的。

2. 其他的问题比如练习让自己变得更加紧张，大脑无法停止思考，大脑始终有很多想法也是可能遇到的情况。这时，对自己耐心一点。无法闭上眼睛放松，我们可以选择睁开眼睛，自然的注视一个方向。

3. 大脑如果无法停止思考也没有关系。正念冥想的目的并不是让大脑停止思考，我们的思维也不会因为冥想练习而瞬间停止工作。

练习冥想的真正目的是帮助我们意识到是什么想法在困扰我们。进而让我们逐渐的整理大脑中的思维，让他们从混乱变得有序而清晰。

当你面对抑郁、焦虑、压力过大、负面情绪时，请联系我们，我们的心理治疗师可以引导你练习冥想，减轻压力，放松自我，重新找回轻松的自我。

Special thanks to the contribution of psychotherapist  Xiaojing Wei, LMSW.

<a href="http://drjunhongcao.com/5-signs-that-you-may-need-to-see-a-therapist">5 Signs That You May Need To See A Therapist</a>

5 Signs That You May Need To See A Therapist

Posted on by junecao
see therapist

You may be thinking, “I’ve managed this long. Do I really need to see a therapist?”

Mental health is tricky because it is invisible; that is, it can sometimes disguise itself as headaches, exhaustion or other physical ailments. This can be especially hard to determine if we are dealing with issues that have been present for a long time. In fact, we may have been raised to believe it is weakness when we cannot “handle” the difficult times that occur through our lives, however, deciding to see a therapist does not mean that we are “broken” or that we have “failed”. Sometimes we just need help—and that’s ok. Maintaining mental health is a part of self-care, and seeing a therapist to get help is not only responsible, but is freeing because you are not doing this alone.

1. Regular coping strategies are no longer enough.

As human beings, we do not exist in a bubble. Actually we are creatures that respond to our environment. Discrimination, financial insecurity, or uncertainty about the future are among the few issues we can face every day, and a global pandemic has only made it worse. Maybe something traumatic has happened recently, or you have experienced the loss of a loved one or something that was once a core part of your identity. When you see a therapist, you can learn the skills you need to reduce depressive and anxiety symptoms or for more effective stress management.

need to see a therapist
Signs you need to see a therapist

2. You have been feeling stuck in life for a long time.

Whether it has been a few weeks, months or years, sometimes negative feelings stick with us for a while. Whether you have been feeling stuck in a relationship, in a marriage, in your job, or in the past, you may feel angry, anxious, or sad most of time. In fact, it does not feel like “you” when those feelings surface. Perhaps you are struggling to connect and communicate with those who are close to you. This does not have to be normal! We can become accustomed to believing that our circumstances and behaviors are fixed. The foundation of therapy centers on you believing that you are capable of change and that you can grow. So use it as an opportunity to find a way to be a better you.

3. It is interfering with your daily activities.

Not taking care of your mental health can have negative effects on your day-to-day livelihood. For example, you may be having trouble sleeping at night or you may stop communicating with your friends and family. Sometimes, it makes it difficult to concentrate or get any work done. As a matter of fact, illness and injury can affect us in similar ways, but we usually take medicine, rest or see a doctor. Your mental health needs just as much support. In other words, psychotherapy can become a part of your self-care routine. Think of it as way of taking care of your mind so that you can continue to experience life in a way that fulfills you.

4. You have developed unhealthy ways to cope.

When life gets tough, we try to find quick and easy ways to make ourselves feel better and get through the day. But not all methods we choose to cope are good for us. Isolation from our family and friends is a typical coping strategy. We may avoid going to work or school because it gives us too much anxiety. In particular, self-harm or over reliance on alcohol and drugs as a coping mechanism are causes for concern. We may even seek to be around others who encourage our negative behaviors. When you see a therapist, it offers a way to learn more healthy ways to cope with our problems. Developing more positive habits further strengthens our mental fortitude so that we can better face daily challenges.

5. You need a different kind of support system.

It is great to have family members or a friend you can confide in. Usually they are the first people to know our troubles and our secrets. Sometimes family and friends are too close to the problems that affect us. Understandably we may be afraid to show the people closest to us how we feel because we want their approval. Advice, though well intentioned, can leave you feeling empty. Guidance and planning from a professional can help provide you with the steps you need to maintain your own mental health. That is why you may need someone with an outside perspective. Seeing a therapist not only helps you to get an objective assessment of your struggles, but assists you to get the support you need for your well-being.

See a Therapist in our Practice in New York

If you find yourself or someone you care about experiencing any of the above signs, or you have any questions about psychotherapy, call us free for 15 minutes to schedule an online teletherapy appointment with our psychotherapists in New York, NY. We provide psychotherapy in Chinese, Korean, and English. Let us help you take those first steps to better your mental health.

Special thanks to the contribution of Nicole O’Brien

The Beginner's Guide to Self-Love

The Beginner’s Guide to Self-Love

Posted on by junecao
self love
 

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. ~Oscar Wilde

What is self love anyways? Self love is the act of valuing your own happiness and putting your physical, emotional and mental well-being first. In other words, it is acceptance, unconditional support, caring, and compassion for the self.  As cheesy as it may sound, learning to love yourself is one of the most powerful tools to make your life better.

Why is self love important?

Self-love involves acting the same way towards yourself whether everything goes well or when you have a difficult time. Even if you make a mistake, or fail, with self-compassion, you give yourself the same kindness and care you’d give to a good friend. What are the benefits of self-love? Below are some examples:

Self-love motivates you to make healthy decisions in life.

When you hold yourself in high esteem, you’re more likely to choose things that nurture yourself  and serve you well. That is to say, loving yourself can be cultivated to reduce stress,  anxiety, depression, self-hatred, and image problem. Indeed, it helps to lead to happiness, self-confidence and improved immune function.

Self-love assists you to liberate yourself from constant comparisons.

How many times have you called yourself a “loser”? It could happen when you scroll through Instagram and see a “friend” bragging about their fancy dinner, perfect body, and amazing life. Nevertheless, when you learn to truly love yourself, you know you are enough and you do not see the need to compare yourself to others.

You learn to be more confident. 

With self compassion and love, it is natural to have self acceptance for who you are non-judgmentally. In other words, it makes it easier to embrace your flaws and forgive your mistakes. Such enhanced confidence can in turn develop your security and compassion towards yourself.

Self-love builds your resilience to go through hard times.

In reality, challenges and mistakes often lead to self-blaming, self-criticism, and self-punishment. How many times did you call yourself names like “I’m so stupid”, “I’m a failure”, “No one likes me”? Generally loving yourself means you learn to talk to yourself the way you would talk to your close friend. In effect, you open your heart to support, encourage, and care with kindness and a gentle tone. 

Self-love expands your vision to develop and maintain a healthy relationship.

Truth be told, the way you treat yourself will teach others how you want to be treated by them. Without enough self compassion, you may be eager to please others and unable to say no. Unfortunately this could easily open the door for others to disrespect you or even abuse you in a relationship. Self-love empowers you to set clear boundaries, communicate assertively, and protect yourself when you need to. All of these pave the way for a healthy relationship of mutual respect and balance.

Write a love letter to yourself

Today, begin your self-love journey by writing a love letter to yourself and be reminded that the biggest love you need is your own! 

Dear me,

I seldom tell you how much I admire you, how beautiful and caring and intelligent and strong you are, that I love you!

I want to hug you, praise you, cherish you, and appreciate you for the incredible person that you are, for all the beauty and life you bring to this world!

I want to be there for you, I want to take good care of you, I want to fight for you, I want to protect you, and I want to accept you for who you are!

Please, do not care what others think, do not be afraid to be different, do not be ashamed of who you are.

You do not need others’ approval, love, or friendship to be whole.

You are enough!

You are worthy!

You are unique!

You are beautiful!

You are great!

You deserve the best!

You matter!

You are allowed to say NO!

I believe in you, and once again,I love you!

Love Forever,

Me

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How to Parent Your Highly Sensitive Child

How to Parent Your Highly Sensitive Child

Posted on by junecao

Is your child a highly sensitive person (HSP)? Do you find it  more challenging to adapt your parenting style to attend to their emotional needs? How do you know you if have a highly sensitive child? Is being sensitive a weakness? What coping strategies are more appropriate for a highly sensitive child?

Signs of an Emotionally Sensitive Child

As a parent, you may have noticed some signs that your child is a highly sensitive person. Some typical signs include:

  • Quickly identify and may be pretty particular about senses stimuli such as noise, sound, light, smell, taste, or texture;
  • Intimidated and easily overwhelmed in front of strangers and a big crowd
  • Take things personally and feel hurt easily when being judged, rejected, and criticized. 
  • Capability to read others’ feelings intuitively
  • Feel and store intense emotions such as anger, sadness, or fear
  • Either bottle up strong emotions by isolating themselves or react strongly to such emotions with acting out behaviors 
  • More prone to get anxious and depressed

Problems Your Highly Sensitive Child may Face

Typically, a highly sensitive child is inherently wired to be highly aware of their environment. This sensitivity makes them pay attention to subtle details, feel deeply, be cautious of the consequences, respond to others’ emotions, and highly empathetic to other’s emotions and distress. However, they may also struggle with issues along with their sensitivity. Specifically, issues may include:

highly sensitive teen
strong emotions teen

  • HSP Burn out.

    Usually, a highly sensitive child can be more vulnerable to stress because they feel their own emotions as well as others’ immensely. With the expectations and social norm of being tough and aggressive, sensitive boys face more challenge of behaving just opposite to his true self.

  • Bullying

    When a sensitive child is perceived as “a crying baby”, or simply different, sometimes they may be targeted on by other kids or more at-risk for bullying. 

  • Self- esteem issue

    Indeed, as a teenager, being “popular” is very important, and yet, a sensitive child may not have too many friends, or they may even isolate themselves. This could easily turn to internalized false beliefs such as “Nobody likes me” and “I will never fit in”.

  • Psychological issues

    When highly sensitive teens have to internalize their intense emotions, psychological issues could arise, for example, anxiety, depression, emotion regulation problems, and acting out behaviors such as anger outburst and self-harm behaviors.

  • Effects on learning: 

    From time to time, a highly sensitive child’s behaviors can be misinterpreted as low motivation or attention deficit by the teachers and parents. Due to their discomfort in participating before strangers or large crowds, they may not express themselves easily or quickly. 

Coping Strategies to Parent your Highly Sensitive Child

1. AWARENESS

First and foremost, knowing and understanding your highly sensitive child is essential for a parent. When you are more aware of your child’s high sensitivity, you do not just see them as “weak” or so anxious. You see the beauty inside your kid, the kindness, empathy, honesty, creativity, and emotional responsiveness. Further, you can help your child to utilize the advantages and strengths to thrive.

2. ACCEPT AND SUPPORT YOUR CHILD. 

Second, unconditional love and support will give your sensitive child the confidence they need to face difficult situations. As parents, you want to understand and accept your sensitive child for who they are, rather than trying to mold them into a less sensitive person. Support also means to teach your child concepts such as how to stand up and  protect themselves from bullies, improve self-esteem, better accept themselves, learn to manage stress, and have a clear sense of personal competence.

3. MODELING COPING BEHAVIOR

Third, parents are the major role models for their sensitive child. For example, model behaviors could include, showing respect, setting limits with others, developing friendships, seeking help when needed, getting physically fit, self care and self, and compassion for better growth. 

4. TEACHING POSITIVE COPING STRATEGIES:

Fourth, negative strategies have short-term effects of avoiding or fighting the problems the wrong way, but in the long run, they usually make things worse and force teens to fall in a vicious cycle. Typical positive stress management skills may include:

positive coping strategies

5. EMOTION REGUALTION SKILLS:

Fifth, emotional regulation refers to one’s ability to regulate strong feelings and react appropriately to situations. To cultivate emotion regulation skills, parents can help their highly sensitive teenager to do the following;

  • Identify mood states and encourage them to engage in exercises which ease them off from their stress. Mindfulness and breathing exercise have large effects on stress reduction, personal growth, and self- acceptance.
  • Validation, that is, gives your teenager a sense of acceptance. This can pave the way for accepting themselves. Parents try not to deny or discredit or teach your teenager how to feel. For instance, if your child says “I hate school”, Don’t say, “Do you know how blessed you are to go to school” Instead try this, “It seems like you had a bad day at school. Do you want to talk about it?”
  • Reflect back the emotions so that they can gain understanding into their own emotions, pros and cons of it as well.

6. PARENTING OF DISCIPLINES RATHER THAN PUNISHMENT

Research has found that parenting based on punishment usually has adverse effect because it is shame-based and reflects parents’ frustration through their yelling and controlling the teens. Punishment could lead to sensitive teenagers’ perception “I am bad”.

On the contrary, gentle discipline is recommended, including strategies such as giving clear rules and having consistent consequences. Such consequences can very well be positive, for example, give compliments, praise, and reward to encourage positive behaviors. 

7. COMMUNICATION WITH SCHOOL

Parents frequently communicate with school teachers and counselors to make sure your teenager’s needs are met at school. Let teachers understand and coordinate accordingly. For example,

  • Highly sensitive teenagers prefer structured lessons, rules and rituals; in situations with more uncertainty, it is important to help them to manage anxiety and maintain balance.
  • In addition, a highly sensitive child may feel overwhelmed in a school environment with auditory and visual chaos. School teachers can allow teens to step out of such chaotic environment if they have to.
  • Have school counselor available if your child may need time to calm down or talk.

Dr. June and her team have great experience working with teens who are highly sensitive. Call us free for 15 minutes and learn about our psychotherapy services to find the best fit for your teenager.

Special thanks to the contribution of our intern Tephila Paul

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How to Fight Depression Without Medication?

How to Fight Depression Without Medication?

Posted on by junecao
fight depression

When we all have to use self isolation to protect our health during this quarantine time,  depression is reported to occur at a higher rate. What does depression feel like? It usually affects our daily functioning and manifests through thoughts, behaviors, mood, and physical symptoms. 

  • In mood, you may feel sad, agitated, lonely, helpless, and hopeless;
  • In behaviors, you may withdraw and isolate yourself, easily throw temper tantrum, tend to use alcohol or drugs;
  • Physically, you could have sleep and appetite issues, easily feel tired, have low energy level, feel “lazy”, numb, sluggish, and loss of interest.
  • In terms of thinking, your concentration and memory may even be affected. You tend to have negative thoughts like “I’m a failure”, “I am useless”, “No one likes me”.

How to fight depression without medication? Many people found this tool GRAPES helpful to boost motivation and alleviate depression.  GRAPES stands for the following acronyms:

  • Gentle with Yourself
  • Relaxation
  • Accomplishment
  • Pleasure
  • Exercise
  • Social

GENTLE with yourself – Use self compassion

Gentle with yourself, simply put, is to improve self compassion. When you are hard on yourself and use those negative thoughts to judge, criticize, and blame yourself,  it is important to remember, you will not be so harsh to a friend. Therefore, to fight depression without medication, it is essential to remind yourself to change the way you talk to yourself to that  you talk to a friend. You will notice the different tone and choice of words. Such difference can help you to use positive self affirmations such as:

  • I am kind.
  • I love myself!
  • I am beautiful inside and out.
  • I am proud of who I am!
  • This is no easy job but I made it!
  • I will achieve my goals!
  • I deserve to be appreciated!

RELAXATION – Mindfulness Meditation Practice

To fight depression without medication, relaxation is a very important tool. You can practice relaxation almost anywhere. Take breathing exercise for example, paying attention to your inhale and exhale can give you both emotional and physical release. Deep breathing increases circulation, releases endorphins, and relaxes muscles. When you use relaxation to create a mindful moment, you are able to pay attention to what you are experiencing right here and right now. This way, your negative thinking turn its direction when you do not have to focus on the depression negative spiral. You are immersed in the moment, reconnect with your inner strength, and feel the peace and tranquility.

Relaxation is to use mindfulness for depression to calm your central nervous system, clear your mind, and recharge your body. Relaxation may also be taking a nap, reading a good book, taking a shower or a bubble bath, practicing yoga, swimming and feeling the water, enjoying your favorite music, cuddling with your pet, taking care of your plant, sewing, making your tea, slowly having coffee, preparing a meal, having some snacks, or simply sitting under the sun and feeling sunshine warming up your body. You may find some Apps such as HeadSpace and Calm helpful with a few minutes of relaxation exercise every day. Many YouTube videos can also guide you to practice meditation and mindfulness.

ACCOMPLISHMENT – Use an Activity Schedule

Accomplishment does not have to be as big as you walk on the moon or won Nobel Prize. It may be as small as you planned to walk outside and you actually did it. Having a daily routine is essential to fight depression naturally. Making lists or write down a daily activity schedule can allow you to visualize what tasks you actually have to do for that day or week. Even better, you can cross them off! Research shows that by checking something off a list, the brain produces dopamine, the happy hormone, to reduce depression. This could make you feel good with more energy and want to do more. A list can also be made via a mental health or motivation app on your smart phone. Even if it’s ‘brush teeth’ or ‘have a shower’, you’ll start to feel better once you’ve crossed it off.

Set small goals and reward yourself when you accomplish them. When depression drains your motivation, you have to work to create new incentive to replace what existed naturally before your mental health deteriorated. This starts with small and achievable goal setting. For example, your goal could be cleaning out your closet. If you succeed in that, reward yourself by cooking your favorite meal or watching an episode of the latest TV show. This process of small accomplishments and rewards will help restore your motivation. 

PLEASURE – Focus on your Hobbies

Depression may feel like depriving fun out of your life. What you used to enjoy doing may not sound appealing any more. Pleasure is about having fun and joy again. Encouraging yourself to plan something fun to do is a good start. Many activities can bring you pleasure, Dancing, listening to music, coloring, gardening, watching a YouTube channel, reading, eating gourmet food, having sex, cuddling a pet, and enjoying a hobby. Music for example, has been found to reduce symptoms of depression in many research studies. It can boost your mood and make you more aware of your emotions overall. This is said to be done as music releases dopamine, a chemical which increases pleasure. 

EXERCISE – Natural Antidepressant

Exercise as a treatment for depression has been highly recommended because research evidence has shown enough support that beating depression with exercise proves viable. Combining exercise with antidepressant medication is also considered an evidence-based treatment. Exercise does not have to be at the gym, especially during the COVID pandemic when gyms are mostly closed. It is simply “get moving” when you can keep social distance. This could be from the bedroom to the living room, going for a run, or taking a walk outside, whatever you feel you are capable of doing.

When you struggle with depression, one of the biggest challenges is not wanting to move from your cozy cocoon called bed. You have made it your safe haven where you feel comfy and safe but staying there will only demotivate you more. If you can encourage yourself to go outside, the fresh air clear your mind and reset your brain a little. If outside is too much, tell yourself to sit in a different room and open a window. 

SOCIAL – Reduce Isolation

Human beings are social animals and isolation could cause depression. With the continuation of the Coronavirus pandemic, it is not your choice to self isolate, but you might be feeling the social isolation or withdrawal, which can make anyone feel demotivated and depressed. How to prevent a depression spiral while quarantined? This is high time that you use those apps to stay connected, FaceTime, Zoom, Google Hangout, Skype, WhatsApp, you name it. Using FaceTime to connect with a friend or loved one can instantly make you feel less alone. You don’t need to talk about anything important, just a simple chitchat with someone you care about will make you feel more at ease.

When you try all the above strategies and still find it difficult to manage your depression, there is still a great option of talking to a therapist. Our depression specialists use evidence-based therapy approach like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness to help you to understand triggers of your depression, manage stress, improve awareness of your thoughts, behaviors, and feelings, and learn coping skills to reduce depression effectively. Call us free for 15 minutes to schedule your online therapy sessions.

Special thanks to the contribution of Alexandra Jame

Best Ways for International Students to Find an Online Therapist 留学生如何找到最好的网上心理咨询师

Best Ways for International Students to Find an Online Therapist 留学生如何找到最好的网上心理咨询师

Posted on by junecao

作为一个留学生，独自一人漂泊在海外，你是否有时会感到被负面情绪所困扰？无论是紧张焦虑、抑郁难过，还是内疚失落，缺少家人和朋友的陪伴，会让你更加无助。各种压力频频出现，文化适应、种族歧视、语言障碍、丧亲之痛、伴侣出轨、分手离婚、职场压力、身份问题、学业压力、父母期盼、原生家庭、未来发展、人际关系、身体健康、疼痛失眠、饮食障碍、创伤应激、情绪剧烈起伏、暴怒暴力倾向、自残自杀倾向、性少数群体，可以说是不一而足。有时候，你也许想更好的理解自己的行为和思维方式、提高自我认知，帮助自己有一个更好的打开方式，那么心理咨询就是一个非常有效的方式。

What is Psychotherapy 什么是心理咨询或心理治疗？

心理咨询是这样一个过程，咨询师和来访者会首先建立起稳定和信任的关系，在严格保密的环境中，使来访者内心感到安全舒适，咨询师运用专业的咨询技巧，聚焦于来访者的心理困扰，帮助他们理清思绪，运用专业干预和技巧，引领探索性成长或达到治疗目的。

心理咨询是分阶段性的。初次见面类似于心理评估，主要通过咨询师提问问题，来引导你表达和探讨困扰你的问题。这个过程咨询师会更多了解你的情况，进行专业评估、建立关系，也帮助你来确认跟咨询师之间是否有好的匹配关系。

初步心理评估之后，咨询师会根据对你的全面了解和困扰你的问题，运用不同的咨询技巧，帮助你调节心态、释放情绪、改善行为和思维模式，帮你达到更好的心理和生活状态。通过这样一个谈话的过程心理咨询逐渐起到应有的作用。科学实验证明，心理治疗与精神科药物同样有效。所以，药物会减轻表面的症状，而心理咨询是帮助你从根源上解决问题。

How to Choose an Online Therapist 如何选择网上心理咨询师？

心理咨询师或治疗师是受过专业培训、专门从事心理治疗的心理专家或从业人员。咨询师在人类行为、心理健康评估、诊断和治疗以及行为改变等领域都有多年的专业知识训练、实习和从业经验。心理咨询师所运用的方法和技巧都是经过科学实践证明，在帮助来访者改变思维、情绪和行为方面有积极的效果。

1. Know your Therapist 了解咨询师的情况

作为来访者，在确定一个咨询师前，了解Ta的背景情况可以帮助你作出更有效的选择。选择的前提当然也包括你的需求和倾向性。比如，你如果对自己的英语表达没有把握，那选择讲中文的咨询师就很有必要；你如果觉得其他族裔的咨询师无法真正理解你的中国文化，那么选择有中国文化背景的咨询师很重要；如果你需要的不只是咨询师倾听你，而是要能与你形成一个团队有效的引导你，那选择一个更直接、主动型的咨询师才会更有效果。另外，咨询师的性别、年龄、经验、从业时间、所用的咨询方法等等，都可以是了解的不同方面。

2. Know Your Therapist’s Professional Background 根据专业背景选择

咨询师的培训是非常严格的。在大学毕业后，心理咨询师平均要花4-7年的时间接受更专业的研究生及以上的继续教育和研究，在督导的指导下完成几千小时的临床实习，最后通过考试取得资格后才能独立执业。正是这种专业的培训、体验、受督导和临床实习的结合，使心理咨询师的专业素养可以更准确的作出临床判断和治疗，并有效的应对紧急情况。

在咨询师中，psychologist是拥有博士学位的心理专家，therapist或psychotherapist是至少拥有硕士学位的心理咨询师或治疗师。咨询师在了解并作出诊断后，如果觉得你的症状已经严重的影响到了你的正常工作、学习、生活和人际关系，那他们有可能会把你介绍给psychiatrist精神科医生，这样双管齐下，可以通过药物帮助减轻或治疗症

3. Find the Best Fit 根据感觉契合度选择

在选择咨询师方面，一旦确定了心理咨询师的资历和能力，决定是否与特定的心理咨询师合作的一个重要因素就是——你对这个心理咨询师的个人舒适程度。选择一个你觉得舒服和自在的人是最重要的！好的咨询师可以既温暖亲切，又具备专业素养，让你比较容易放下戒备，愿意逐渐打开自己，选择信任。

4. Know Your Therapist’s Specialty 根据特长选择

心理咨询师有自己的特长，比如你需要的是婚姻或情感关系咨询或伴侣治疗，那么就要选择一个有这方面专业培训和专长的咨询师。同样，性少数群体也是要寻找对性取向、性别转换等方面有研究和理解的咨询师，才能真正得到自己所需要的帮助。当然，留学生群体面临的各种压力，也是在这方面有经验的咨询师才能更好的提供帮助。

5. Know Your Therapist’s Theoretical Orientation and Approach 根据专业能力选择

专业能力可以表现在不同的方面，在心理咨询各方面理论的学习、运用、和经验都是很重要的部分。对这些理论的灵活运用能够更有效的帮助来访者。这些理论主要包括：

我们的心理咨询师都至少可以用中英两种语言提供咨询服务，而且我们也都曾有过当时作为留学生的压力、艰辛和深刻的体会，所以我们非常能理解你的困扰。同时我们有丰富的经验应对各方面的挑战。

对于留学生，我们采取最优惠的政策，帮助你申报保险，减轻你的后顾之忧。给我们致电，头15分钟免费或预约网上心理咨询。请让我们帮助你，一起共同走过困难，迎接更有希望的明天。

How to Improve your Mental Health in 2021

How to Improve your Mental Health in 2021

Posted on by junecao

During the incredibly difficulty year 2020, people experience collective trauma, tremendous stress, loss, and grief that significantly contribute to anxiety, depression and other mental health conditions. Now when we started 2021, we all hope it can be different, at least hopefully COVID would not affect so many people. It is crucial to prioritize your mental health to adapt and to thrive. In order to boost and maintain your mental health in 2021, it is important to practice the following 7 strategies: 

1. Reflection and Resolutions

Reflection:

Reflecting on 2020 may help to improve your resilience. Acknowledge everything positive in the past year, no matter how small they are, and list as many as you can. Things like: “I went on a daily walk,” “I had a nice zoom date,” “I finished an interesting book” could bring the happier parts of 2020 to the forefront of your mind.

Acknowledge that 2020 was a challenging time, and not being hard on yourself is so important too. When you are reflecting on the harder parts of the year, remember to give yourself grace. Be proud that you made it through the year, and recognize how resilient you are! When you are finished with your list, pick out what you want to bring into the new year (i.e., walks with friends, developing a hobby) and what you would rather leave behind.

Resolutions based on bettering yourself:

When making goals and plans for the new year, be sure to include ways to improve your mental health. Enhancing your mental health should be your top priority and needs to be prioritized for all of your other resolutions to be accomplished. Try doing the next items in this list to boost your mental health in 2021.

2. Focus on the basics.

Focus on your basic needs like eating, sleeping and getting physical activity is important for your mental health.

Healthy eating

Many people gain weight during the pandemic. Eating disorder is also associated with disturbed eating habit when we work, sleep, eat, socialize, and school all at home. Healthy eating is not only about regular meal time, nutritional food, but also about mindful eating.  Eating mindfully is to eat at least one meal without distractions. Just focus on your food, the shape, the size, the color, the smell, the taste, and the feel when you chew and swallow. No phones, no computers, no TV, etc., By doing so, eating can be truly relaxing and enjoyable.

Keep sleep hygiene

Staying at home and difficulty separating home from work can lead to irregular sleep pattern. On top of that, stress, trauma and new challenges are other factors that disturb our sleep. Since sleep quality is linked to mental health, getting enough sunlight for a normal circadian rhythm, developing a sleep routine, reducing use of your smart phone before sleep, and practicing relaxation techniques will help you to sleep better.

Physical Activity and Exercise

When you are active, endorphins are released in your body. Endorphins can help improve your mood and make you feel good!Try and find activities you have fun doing; this will keep you excited to get out there and get moving! Some ways to stay active can be walking daily, following fitness instructors online and completing their workout videos, or practicing yoga. You can even ask a friend to do a video call during your workouts to keep each other motivated and increase your social interaction!

3. Self-care and hobbies

Self-care can look different for everyone. Find activities or hobbies that make you happy, and try to make time for them every day – even if it’s only for 5 to 10 minutes. It may go from positive affirmations, skincare, listening to music, to watching a reality show, gardening, yoga, or following a YouTuber to dance.  

Hobbies can help alleviate stress and create bonds with people who share the same interest. Like journaling, finding activities you enjoy doing is another way to deepen your understanding of yourself and your interests. Practicing self-care can improve your overall well being in so many ways! Implementing these five activities can be a great way to focus on your mental health in 2021!

4. Social support system

The pandemic makes seeing friends and family challenging, but try your best to keep up with loved ones this year. 

Practice social activities at a distance

Participate in some outdoor activities with family or friends, that helps you to maintain a safe distance and still socialize with people. If you like hiking, biking, walking, running, are a great way to enjoy social time while still following public health orders. 

Talk to your loved ones

Phone calls, video calls, and Zoom meetings can help you maintain this contact! New research has shown that “people felt significantly more connected when they communicated by talking than by typing” . Find a loved one you trust and whom you feel comfortable talking to honestly. Look for someone who is willing to listen. Try to interact with people who lift your spirits and help you access the best version of yourself. Remember to do the same for them!

5. Journaling

Journaling is a creative way to express yourself and put your feelings into words. Researchers in positive psychology found that taking time to write down what you are feeling while using “positive affect prompts” has been shown to reduce stress. Journaling can also help remind you of what you are grateful for. Research has shown that focusing on gratitude can increase happiness, health, and productivity while decreasing stress . 

6. Practice Mindfulness

Isolation at home, taking care of your family while working from home, job loss, having financial strain during the pandemic, death of a loved one, these can all be stressful. How you manage the stress is crucial to finding respite from the pandemic.

Mindfulness can be great for many people and there are many forms of meditation that you can practice. Whether you like to take a moment to focus on your breathing, or some art work, do gardening, walking, cooking, singing, dancing, sipping your coffee, the key is to stay in the moment non-judgmentally, feel the peace and tranquility in the present. When you schedule a regular time to practice mindfulness on a daily basis, it is like taking a mini mental vacation to clear your mind. 

7. Talk to a professional

Sometimes, one of the best things you can do to prioritize your mental health is simply reaching out to a mental health professional and getting therapy. Psychotherapy is an excellent way to explore your emotions in-depth, identify your stressors,  receive an accurate diagnosis, learn coping skills, and better manage your mood, thoughts, and behaviors.

If psychotherapy is in your plan to improve mental health this year, call us free for 15 minutes to schedule an online teletherapy appointment with our therapists in New York NY. We provide psychotherapy in Chinese, Korean, and English. We would love to be part of the assistance to achieve your mental health goal in 2021

Whatever you end up doing this year, whether that’d be starting your first gratitude journal or calling a friend on the phone, try your best to do things that spark happiness. You deserve to have a fulfilling year and to make the best out of 2021!

Special thanks to the contribution of Victoria Gallo, B.A. in Psychology from The College of New Jersey.

8 Tips To Feel Your Emotions

8 Tips To Feel Your Emotions

Posted on by junecao
need a good cry

How do you feel your emotions? How to get in touch with your emotions? Little kids express their emotions they way they are. They laugh when they are happy; cry when they are unhappy. As you grow up, you start to hide and bury your feelings because you were taught sadness, anger, frustration, and fear are “negative feelings“, therefore, you should not “burden other people” with negativity. The end result? Those “negative emotions” could accumulate to the point its intensity makes you want to explode. You could end up suffering from tremendous stress. In other words, suppressing emotions or turning them off does not make the emotions go away.

Some people tend to be better at recognizing their true feelings, but practice and attention can help you obtain the same superpower as a natural gift. Here are some of the strategies that you can apply to deal with your feelings instead of burying them.

1.  Accept or Acknowledge Emotions without Judgment.

Emotions are inevitable and a normal part of our everyday life. They apparently exist for a good reason. In fact, emotions are powerful indicators of our needs, goals, longings, and desires. you feel your emotions on a daily basis. Apparently they are essential for your safety, better survival, effectiveness for day to day activities, motivation to change, and more skills to be stronger. Although you do not like to feel sad, sadness is a typical emotion when you have grief, loss, or rejected.

Let go of shame. It is hard to feel your emotions when you are afraid of them, confused by them, or ashamed of them. Remind yourself, being “emotional” is very natural, human, and healthy. Actually it is normal. In other words, tell yourself it is OK to have emotions, even intense ones. 

2. Feel your Emotions

In order to truly feel your emotions, you may first practice saying how you feel out loud to yourself, “I feel sad,” “I feel angry,” or “I feel hurt.”

How to feel your emotions? Have a space for yourself where you feel safe, cozy, and comfortable when you experience your emotions. Have blankets and pillows around as well as images and symbols of being held, protected, loved. At times when you feel “I want to cry so bad”, or “I need to release anger,” maybe it is time you let your emotions out. If you prefer to feel your emotions privately, tell your family and loved ones that you need some alone time, or make sure your roommates are not home.

3. Practice self-compassion and self-care.

If we don’t learn to care for ourselves, we may encounter stress in our lives, resulting in a breakdown. Treat yourself like treating a good friend. Say to yourself, like telling your heart-broken friend, ‘it’s OK to cry,’ encouraging others to speak out when they have difficulty expressing emotions. In other words, be kind and compassionate to yourself. By doing so, we admit that we are facing a problem(s), and we can calm ourselves through reassuring words. 

We sometimes take our pain as a sign that something is wrong with us or that other people are different. To err is human; thus, all human suffers, or to put it further, a part of the human experience is to fail and suffer. There is no pain that we have endures that others have not yet experienced; the same applies to various emotions. 

4.  Confront the cause of your emotions honestly.

Failure to do so may lead to self-pity or self-doubt, which wreak havoc on both your personal and romantic relationships in the long term. By concentrating your energy on reducing the real cause of your negative feelings, you are more likely to resolve the hidden worries, problems that you may not have known in the first place. A case in point would be when you can’t let go of a broken relationship and become anxious and emotional every once in a while. It becomes high time to ask yourself: am I terrified of ending the relationship, or am I worry about being alone for the rest of my life, or am I indeed having a difficult time in my career?

5. Journaling

Journaling and other forms of self-expression are useful in locating your genuine emotions. It is one of human’s basic needs to express ourselves – people demonstrate their strong desire to express themselves. Hence, various forms of self-expression, including writing, drawing, singing, or dancing have all been proved to be beneficial in recognizing your hidden feelings. Take journaling for example. Writing your feelings down and keeping a journal not only helps you connect with emotions at the moment, but also allows you to practice describing them to yourself before you share them with others. Be genuine to yourself to your emotions’ nuances when writing them down; for example, disappointment can easily be disguised as anger. 

6. Mindfulness

Being mindful is being fully aware of the real feelings you are experiencing without avoidance or judgment. It is important that you acknowledge your negative feelings as part of your experience; you do not stick to or run away from them; in turn, you give yourself a reality check.

For instance, when you don’t get the dream job for which you applied. To practice mindfulness, you need first to find a quiet place, take a deep breath, and then pay attention to what you feel about the loss of opportunity. You may discern both disappointment and sadness, try not to push them away or attempt to remedy the emotions, just hear them out. 

As you experience these seemingly negative emotions, you would tell yourself that it is difficult to feel both disappointed and sad simultaneously. Meanwhile, you can give yourself a comforting touch, for instance, holding your own hands. This way, you would not dwell on your thoughts about your performance in the interview or anything about the job.

7, Talk to people, make use of your social support system.

Suppressing emotional expressions often links to lower social support, lower intimacy level with others, and lower satisfaction with yourself. In contrast, resort to social support and the social network to feel your emotions and to survive the hard time, such as concern, empathy, and affection. To put it in a nutshell, we benefit from resorting to social support in coping with emotions. For example, when you experience sadness or grief, it could meet your needs for connection, comfort, and satisfaction by snuggling with animals and connecting with people. 

8. Therapy.

Your therapist, without a doubt, plays a vital role in your support system. Especially when you have been buried your emotions for an extended period, feeling your emotions upfront can be painful and overwhelming. Sometimes before you learn to cope with how you genuinely feel, things can seem to get worse. Seek help from your therapist to truly embrace the healing power of being more in touch with your emotions.

The therapists in our team are here to help. Give us a free 15-minute phone call, we would love to work with you to feel your emotions again.

Special thanks to the contribution of our intern, Ms. Wenqi (Vinky) Qiu