English Archives - Junhong Cao, Ph.D. (Dr. June)

Master Your Emotions: The Guide to Anger Management Classes

Posted on April 4, 2024November 6, 2025 by junecao

Ever felt so angry to the point where your actions caused more troubles?
What does it mean to undergo court-ordered anger management classes?
Is it possible to learn strategies to control your anger? How?

Anger is a normal emotion, just like happiness or sadness, which we all have. However, when out of control, anger could lead to disasters in life and relationships. In some cases, it could even cause legal problems and consequent court-ordered anger management classes. Dr. June and Mandarin-speaking therapists on her team provide court-approved anger management courses. As anger management therapists, they have helped many people to learn how to control anger issues.

Understanding Anger as an Emotion

Anger is an emotion that can feel strong and powerful. It’s like a warning bell that tells us something is wrong or unfair. Often, anger hides other difficult feelings, such as sadness, fear, hurt, or shame. In other words, getting angry is usually an attempt to avoid confronting those painful feelings. Sometimes, anger can be a response when you feel threatened or disrespected. For instance, if someone makes fun of you or calls you names, you might get angry because you feel they don’t respect you.

Typically, the arousal cycle of anger has five phases: trigger, escalation, crisis, recovery, and depression. Understanding the cycle helps us to understand our own reactions and those of others. That is, anger is a normal feeling everyone has. It’s okay to feel angry, what’s important is how you handle your anger.

How Do I Know if I Need Anger Management?

What’s the difference between normal anger and anger that requires management? There is a clear distinction between the two. Here are a few signs that you might have difficulty controlling your anger.

Quick to Anger. You find yourself getting angry more quickly or more intensely than other people. Small things that don’t bother others seem to ignite a strong reaction in you. A good example is, when another driver suddenly changed the lane in front of you, you got mad quickly and tried to revenge by chasing them.
Difficulty Calming Down. Once you’re angry, it’s tough for you to cool off. Your anger might last for hours and even longer. What’s more, you find it hard to get back to feeling normal again.
Physical Signs. When you get angry, you might notice physical signs like your heart beating faster, your face getting hot, clenching your fists, or feeling tense all over.
Impact on Relationships. Your anger causes problems in your friendships or with your family. People may tell you they’re concerned or upset about your reactions. Your partner and kids may get scared and does not want to get close to you.
Regretting Actions. After an angry outburst, you often feel guilty or regretful about what you said or did. You might wish you had handled the situation differently.
Avoidance by Others. You notice that people seem to walk on eggshells around you, afraid of setting off your anger. Friends might avoid hanging out with you because they’re concerned about your reactions.
Disrupting Daily Life. Your anger interferes with your daily life, making it hard to focus at school, perform well at work, or enjoy time with friends and family.

Who May be Ordered to Take Anger Management Classes?

If anger issue is not addressed properly, some may have to take court-ordered anger management classes. This is often due to misdemeanor crimes. For example, behaviors disturbing the peace, altercations, destruction of property, threatening behavior, and/or battery charges. In other words, uncontrolled anger led to unfavorable outcomes.

Domestic Disputes. When domestic disagreements escalate into harmful scenarios, anger management therapy is often mandated.
Altercations or Assaults. Engaging in physical conflicts can lead to court-ordered anger management classes. Anger management is to address people’s aggressive tendencies.
Workplace Violence or Abuse. When your anger is unchecked at work, it may lead to harassment or aggression. This, in turn, could result in a court-ordered anger management program.
School or Public Incidents: If you have aggressive behaviors in a school or public space, police could get involved. Eventually, it may require anger management intervention.
Road Rage. If you drive dangerously out of anger, it can cause a court mandate for anger management therapy. Anger management is to address the root causes of such behaviors.
Violent Behaviors. Violence in any context could get the police involved. Such behaviors may include, if you threaten, harm, or injure others, or destroy property. This often leads to mandated anger management therapy.
Enraged Fury. This is an extreme and uncontrollable form of anger, or violent anger. Typical destructive behaviors could include physical violence or property damage.
Blind Rage. This is the highest level of anger intensity. It is like a complete loss of self-control. Dangerous behaviors may include screaming, throwing, or smashing something.

How Does Court-Ordered Anger Management Class Work?

What is anger management therapy anyway? Usually, it involves the following steps to foster deep behavioral and emotional change:

Assessment. The anger management journey begins with an evaluation. It is to understand the depth of the anger issues and tailor the program to your own needs.
Engagement in Structured Programs. It could involve:
- Group discussions and one-on-one counseling sessions.
- Learning and practicing coping mechanisms for healthier emotional expression.
Skill Development.
- Core elements could include techniques to control anger, conflict resolution strategies, and effective communication skills.
- Meanwhile, you will learn to improve emotional intelligence to better understand and manage emotions.
- Relaxation Techniques. You may learn methods like deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation. This is to practice strategies to calm your minds and bodies, and for managing acute anger responses.
- Cognitive Reframing. Our therapists assist you in identifying and changing the thought patterns that fuel anger. As a result, this could promote a more balanced and less reactive emotional state.
- Communication Skills. A key focus is on enhancing listening skills and encouraging thoughtful and measured responses. Consequently, this may lead to more meaningful and less confrontational interactions.
Monitoring and Reporting. Most likely, the court would require anger management therapy reports. It is to ensure compliance and improvement. The report may include your progress with regular updates.

Benefits of Anger Management Classes

Anger management can significantly improve your relationships and overall quality of life. In particular,

Enhanced Communication. When you learn to express anger in the right way, it can prevent misunderstandings and conflicts in relationships. As we know, effective communication leads to deeper connections and trust between each other.
Reduced Conflict. By managing anger effectively, you can reduce conflicts. This, in turn, could lead to more peaceful and harmonious relationships.
Better Decision-Making. When your anger is out of control, the decisions you make are usually impulsive with negative consequences. Anger management provides tools to calm down and think clearly. As a result, you could make more thoughtful and beneficial choices.
Stress Reduction. When you get angry easily and often, you may end up having more stress and related health issues. Managing anger effectively can reduce stress levels. Thus, your physical and mental health can improve as well.
Self-awareness and Growth. When you have a better understanding of the root causes of your anger, chances are you can learn to manage anger better. Another direct benefit is, it can enhance personal growth and self-esteem.
Professional Success. In the workplace, effective anger management has multiple benefits. For example, it can help to improve professional relationships, enhance problem-solving skills, and contribute to a more positive work environment.

Mandarin-Speaking Anger Management Therapist

Dr. June and therapists on her team specialize in offering Mandarin-speaking anger management therapy. We recognize the importance of culture and language in the therapeutic process. Our Mandarin-speaking anger management therapists are adept at guiding you to gain the power back to better control your anger.

If you are wondering, what techniques are used in anger management classes? Our specific strategies and tools may include cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), mindfulness, and communication skills. Are you seeking an online anger management class? Dr. June and therapists on her team are committed to providing the support and skills necessary for profound, lasting changes. If you’re facing requirements of court-ordered anger management, reach out to us. Embrace the journey toward a more composed and fulfilling life with our therapists at your side.

Have more questions? We got answers.

How long does anger management take to work?

Anger management programs’ duration can vary. It typically can range from a few weeks to several months, depending on the individual’s specific circumstances and the court’s requirements.

Can anger management help me control my temper?

When fully engaged, anger management therapy can be highly effective. It equips you with tools to manage emotions, communicate more effectively, and make constructive behavioral changes. Several large analyses of the published research suggest that out of all people receiving anger management therapy, approximately 75% improved as a result.

Are online anger management classes effective?

Yes, online anger management classes can be equally effective. Some may prefer a flexible schedule or are unable to attend in-person sessions. These classes offer the same curriculum as in-person ones. They typically cover techniques and strategies to understand and manage anger effectively. You can learn valuable skills such as identifying anger triggers, practicing relaxation techniques, improving communication, and developing problem-solving skills.

The effectiveness of online classes depends on your engagement and commitment. What is important for success? Apparently, active participation, completing assignments, and applying learned strategies in daily life.

Do you provide free anger management consultation?

Yes. Whether you need an anger management course for court, or you hope to learn anger management techniques in Chinese or English, Mind Connections provides a 15-minute free anger management consultation. Our Mandarin-speaking anger management therapist will answer your questions in this process.

For anger management issue, please contact us to see how we can help you improve your life.

10 Steps to Embrace Single Life after a Breakup

Posted on October 31, 2023December 14, 2023 by Victoria

A breakup is undoubtedly one of the most challenging experiences we can go through in life. How to heal after a breakup? Navigating the turbulent waters of heartbreak and rediscovering oneself can be tough. However, the journey of healing after a relationship ends paves the way for personal growth and renewed happiness. This guide offers a roadmap for those looking to confidently embrace single life after a breakup.

1. Allow Yourself to Grieve

You may ask, what to do immediately after a breakup? The first step in healing is actually allowing yourself to grieve. Without a doubt, a breakup is a loss, and with loss comes grief. You may feel lost after a breakup and go through different stages of grief. Even those who initiated ending the relationship also go through grief. Ever wonder, why do breakups hurt even when you wanted it? Actually, it’s because of the loss of the shared future, emotional bond, support, and companionship. Let alone the guilty feelings, the doubt, the change in identity, and the disruption of routine.

Understand that it’s okay to feel sad, angry, confused, or any other emotion that may arise. Therefore, give yourself the time and space to process these feelings. Avoid bottling up your emotions; instead, find a safe space to express them. Also, consider journaling as a tool for emotional healing, talking to a trusted friend, or participating in a support group.

2. Prioritize Self-Care after a Breakup

Among things to do after a breakup, self-care is crucial now more than ever. Take care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Ensure you are getting enough rest, eating well, and engaging in regular physical activity. Whether it’s indulging in spa days, taking long walks, or simply reading a book, find activities that soothe your soul. Consider practices such as meditation, yoga, or deep-breathing exercises to manage stress and improve your mental well-being. Establishing a post-breakup self-care routine can significantly aid your emotional well-being.

3. Set Personal Boundaries

After a breakup, you’ll likely encounter a barrage of opinions and unsolicited advice. Remember to establish clear boundaries. Whether it’s deciding not to discuss the breakup or taking a social media hiatus, setting personal boundaries protects your mental space.

Meanwhile, another boundary you may want to establish is the “after a breakup no contact” rule with your ex-partner. As difficult as it may be, the “no contact” rule can be crucial. More often than not, continuing to communicate can lead to more confusion and prolong the healing process. Instead, use this time to focus on yourself and your healing. If you share mutual responsibilities or belongings, try to manage the exchange with as little contact as possible.

4. Reflect on the Relationship

Use this time to reflect on the relationship objectively. What worked and didn’t work? What role did you play in both the success and the downfall of the relationship? Are there any lessons you can take from the relationship? How can you use these lessons to improve yourself and your future relationships? Obviously, this is not about blaming yourself or your ex-partner, but about understanding the dynamics of the relationship to learn from. This way, you can use this time to work on any personal issues that may have contributed to the relationship’s downfall. That is, view the breakup as an opportunity for personal growth.

5. Rediscover Yourself after a Breakup

Often, in relationships, we compromise or change aspects of ourselves. We merge our identities with our partners. After a breakup, it’s essential to rediscover who you are outside of the relationship. How about reconnecting with old friends? Picking up hobbies that you may have left behind and exploring new interests? Actually, this is an opportunity to rebuild and strengthen your identity. This period of discovering oneself post-relationship can be enlightening and empowering. Anyhow, it is essential to build resilience after relationship loss.

6. Build a Support Network

Surrounding yourself with a supportive network of friends and family can be incredibly beneficial. These are the people who know you, love you, and are there to offer a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen. Don’t hesitate to reach out and let them know what you’re going through.

Don’t forget to strengthen other relationships. While a significant relationship has ended, remember the other bonds you have. In fact, this is a golden period to reconnect with friends or family, fostering deeper connections. Strengthening non-romantic relationships post-breakup can provide the emotional support you need.

7. Establish New Routines

Apparently, a breakup can disrupt your daily routine and sense of stability. Yet, establishing a new routine can provide structure and a sense of normalcy. Routine can be comforting. So make sure to include activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it’s a new workout regimen, a morning meditation, or a weekly movie night, establishing new routines after a relationship ends can be therapeutic.

Something to avoid, though, is unhealthy coping mechanisms. It can be tempting to numb the pain with unhealthy coping mechanisms such as excessive drinking, binge-eating, or isolating yourself. While these may provide temporary relief, they can lead to longer-term issues and hinder your healing process.

8. Avoid Rushing into Another Relationship

Among the things not to do after a breakup, rushing into another relationship may be on the top. While the idea of a new romantic venture might seem tempting, avoid the pitfalls of rebound relationships. You may also want to get back together after a breakup, but wait. That is, wait until you have spent enough time for personal reflection, emotional detox, assessment of compatibility, and breaking unhealthy patterns. Give yourself the time and space to heal, grow, and embrace the positives of single life before diving back into the dating pool or the past relationship.

That is, be patient. Healing takes time, and it’s important to be patient with yourself. As a matter of fact, some days will be better than others, and that’s okay. The truth is, healing is not linear, and allowing yourself the time you need is crucial. When you’re ready, and only when you’re ready, open yourself up to new possibilities or new romantic interests. Remember, there is a future beyond this breakup, and you have the strength to embrace it.

9. Celebrate the Positives of Single Life

How to move on after a breakup? Actually, embracing single life after a breakup is a unique opportunity. Consider solo activities for newly single individuals. From solo travel to pursuing personal passions, there’s a world of experiences waiting for you. How about navigating social situations as a newly single person? Don’t forget to re-establish personal goals after a breakup. Dive in, explore, and cherish this phase. That is, embrace single life with confidence and find happiness post-breakup.

10. Consider Professional Help

Sometimes, the pain of a breakup can be overwhelming. “What should I do after a breakup?” If you keep asking yourself this question and yet the pain simply does not go away, it may be beneficial to seek the help of a professional. A psychologist or breakup counselor can provide support, strategies, and a safe space to process your emotions.

Healing after a breakup is a journey, one that is unique to each individual. It’s a process that requires time, patience, and self-compassion. Remember, it’s okay to grieve, it’s okay to feel, and it’s okay to seek help. Use this time to focus on yourself, your well-being, and your personal growth. The pain may feel overwhelming now, but with time and the right support, you will heal, and you will come out stronger on the other side.

Remember, you are not alone in this journey. The relationship therapists and breakup counselors on our team at Mind Connections are here for you. There is a future beyond this pain. Take it one step at a time, be kind to yourself, and healing is possible.

Content Creator, Victoria Gallo; Reviewed by Dr. Junhong Cao

Tips to Be a Competent LGBTQ+ Affirming Therapist

Posted on July 9, 2023November 29, 2023 by Victoria

What does it mean to be an LGBTQ affirming therapist? What does it take to make a therapist’s space a safe place for a queer client? Being an affirmative therapist is more than a title; it’s a commitment to understanding and addressing the specific issues and experiences within the LGBTQ community. Indeed, it requires awareness, the right knowledge, and skills for an inclusive therapist to help foster self-acceptance, resilience, and positive mental health in their LGBTQ clients.

Understanding the Struggles of LGBTQ+ Community

The first step to becoming an LGBTQ affirming therapist is understanding the unique challenges that LGBTQ individuals face. In fact, living in the world as an LGBTQ+ individuals is not always easy; oftentimes, they face hurdles that their heterosexual and cisgender peers may not encounter.

External Challenges Faced by LGBTQ+ Community

All too common in their lives are discrimination, prejudice, and lack of acceptance. It’s not uncommon for them to experience rejection and misunderstanding from their families, friends, communities, and other part of their social support systems. Moreover, LGBTQ+ individuals have to worry about violence and hate crimes if they ever chose to be themselves openly or if they were caught doing so by the wrong crowd.

If people didn’t live in fear, they lived in silence. Gay people had to live in silence, hiding who they truly were: they would describe it as being “in the closet,” “living a double life,” or “wearing a mask and taking it off.” Unfortunately, living a “silent” life wasn’t enough to keep people safe from discrimination. As Audre Lorde, a famous writer and activist, once said, “My silences had not protected me. Your silence will not protect you.”

Internal Struggles of LGBTQ+ Individuals

Sometimes, LGBTQ individuals face internal struggles as well, like grappling with their own identity or deciding when and how to come out to their loved ones. They might also deal with specific mental health issues that are more prevalent in the LGBTQ community due to these unique stressors.

Specifically, the 2023 Trevor Project reported that 41% of LGBTQ young people seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year. In addition, a large majority of LGBTQ young people reported recent symptoms of anxiety (67%) and depression (54%).

People in the queer community may face factors like minority stress. That is, the ongoing stress experienced by people from marginalized or minority groups due to their social, cultural, or identity-based attributes. Furthermore, people of color combined with LGBTQ+ identities may also lead to extra layers of challenges, including racism, cultural expectations, and language barriers. For example, as stated in this article, research suggested that 21% of LGBTQ+ AAPI adults are diagnosed with depression – this is much higher than non-LGBTQ+ AAPI (7%).

How to Become a Competent LGBTQ+ Affirming Therapist

Being an inclusive therapist means being aware of the challenges the LGBTQ+ clients face. It’s about recognizing that these experiences can affect mental health, relationships, and overall well-being. Once you understand these issues, you can better tailor your therapy techniques to address them effectively.

First, Educate Yourself

The first step in becoming a more intersectional therapist for LGBTQ+ clients is to educate yourself. Take the time to educate yourself. Learn about LGBTQ+ identities, experiences, and the unique challenges faced by different LGBTQ+ communities. Meanwhile, listen to LGBTQ+ voices in the news and in your own life. Stay updated on current research, literature, evolving terminology, and resources related to LGBTQ+ mental health. Constantly improve your cultural competence. This knowledge will help you better understand and empathize with your clients’ experiences. More specifically,

Understanding LGBTQ experiences, staying up-to-date with evolving terminology, and constantly improving your cultural competence can transform you into a highly effective LGBTQ affirming therapist.

Importance of Continued Education about LGBTQ Issues

The LGBTQ community is as diverse as a rainbow, with an array of identities, experiences, and challenges. Gaining a deeper understanding of this diversity can help you connect more authentically with your clients, validate their experiences, and provide the support they need.

It is essential to familiarize yourself with some unique concepts in the LGBTQ+ community. This way, you can better empathize with your clients and offer tailored interventions. For instance, transgender individuals often face unique stressors known as ‘minority stress’? Similarly, bisexual individuals can experience ‘bisexual erasure’ or ‘biphobia’.

Where to Find Resources

There are numerous resources available, from online courses to books and seminars. The American Psychological Association (APA) offers numerous resources on LGBTQ mental health. Websites like The Trevor Project or GLAAD also provide a wealth of information, while books like “The Queer and Transgender Resilience Workbook” offer practical guidance.

In addition to these resources, it’s crucial to stay updated with the language used within the LGBTQ+ community. Language evolves, and the terms we use can greatly impact how people feel seen and understood. Always respect the labels and pronouns your clients choose to identify with. And when in doubt, ask.

Remember, becoming an LGBTQ affirming therapist is not a one-time act, but a lifelong journey of learning and growing. As you deepen your understanding, you’ll be better equipped to offer the respect, empathy, and support your LGBTQ clients need. So, stay curious and keep learning, because every bit of knowledge brings you one step closer to being the best ally you can be!

Second, Create a Safe and Inclusive Environment for LGBTQ clients

Recognize and Address Bias

To ensure a safe and inclusive environment for therapy, it’s important to acknowledge and address any biases or assumptions you may have. This may be about gender, sexuality, and other intersecting identities. Take the time to reflect on these potential prejudices. Strive to create a space where clients can openly express their experiences and concerns without fear of judgment or invalidation.

As an LGBTQ affirming therapist, creating a safe and inclusive environment is crucial. But what does that look like? How can you transform your practice into a welcoming haven for your LGBTQ clients? Let’s explore some practical tips.

Affirm and Respect LGBTQ+ Clients

Respect and acknowledge the gender identity, sexual orientation, and other LGBTQ+ aspects of your clients. Use language and terminology that aligns with their self-identified labels and is inclusive. Address any concerns or issues they may face related to their identities while also respecting their preferred pronouns.

If you see clients in person, think about your physical space. Is your waiting room welcoming? Consider incorporating LGBTQ-inclusive art, literature, or posters into your decor. Besides, displaying an LGBTQ pride flag or a sign with inclusive language can help clients feel seen and accepted.

Next, take a look at your intake forms. Are there options for different gender identities and preferred pronouns? Do they ask about sexual orientation in a respectful way? Updating these forms can show that you respect and affirm your clients’ identities before you start the sessions.

Be Humble and Learn from your LGBTQ+ Clients

However, creating a safe environment doesn’t end there. Respect must be woven into every interaction. Indeed, you need to be humble enough to learn learn from your LGBTQ+ clients.

Moreover, understanding the diversity within the LGBTQ community is key. Recognize and respect that every individual’s experience with their identity is unique and personal. Everyone’s journey with their gender identity or sexual orientation is their own, and it’s important to honor that in your practice.

Truth be told, LGBTQ+ individuals often see it a lifeline to find a therapist who truly understands and accepts them. As an LGBTQ affirming therapist, you have the power to create that safe, welcoming space they need. Your efforts can make a world of difference!

Third, Tailor Treatment Approaches

Becoming an LGBTQ affirming therapist isn’t just about understanding and empathy; it also involves using specific therapeutic approaches to best support your LGBTQ+ clients.

More specifically, person-centered therapy could help to focus on the clients’ strengths. It’s about understanding and accepting them as they are, with no judgment. As an LGBTQ affirming therapist, using person-centered therapy means creating an environment where your clients feel valued and understood for who they truly are.

Besides, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can be an effective tool. CBT helps clients understand the connection between their thoughts, feelings, and actions. For LGBTQ+ individuals dealing with internalized negativity or anxiety, this approach can help them recognize harmful thought patterns and develop healthier ways to cope.

Fourth. Advocate as an LGBTQ Affirmating Therapist

As a therapist, it’s important to support your LGBTQ+ clients beyond the therapy room. You can assist them in finding helpful resources and support systems. This can be LGBTQ+ community centers, support groups, healthcare providers, and legal services, if necessary. It’s also beneficial to stay up-to-date on LGBTQ+-friendly organizations and professionals who can provide further specialized support.

Providing Support During Crucial Moments

A. How to support clients during coming out or transitioning. This is the time that most of our queer clients struggle the most. Typically, they may have gone through their own process of questioning, self-doubt, fears, research, and confirming. Besides, lack of social support could also keep them isolated. Supporting them to learn how to come out to their family and friends becomes super important. Helping clients in the trans community to seek help from physicians and agencies may be essential as well. An affirmative therapist should encourage open and honest communication, and seek their input and feedback regarding their treatment goals, preferences, and needs. Collaborate together to develop strategies and coping mechanisms that address their unique challenges.

B. Discussing relationships, dating, and sexuality within the LGBTQ community. An affirmative therapist should encourage open and honest communication, and seek their input and feedback regarding their treatment goals, preferences, and needs. Collaborate together to develop strategies and coping mechanisms that address their unique challenges.

Dr. June and the therapists on her team provide pride counseling for LGBTQ+ individuals and couples. If you struggle with harassment, hatred, related stress, anxiety, depression, or any other mental health challenge we are here to provide LGBTQIA-friendly therapy! Call us free for 15 minutes to discuss your concerns and seek pride counseling.

Content Creator, Victoria Gallo; Reviewed by Dr. Cao

Strategies to Cope with Social Anxiety at Work

Posted on June 1, 2023June 15, 2023 by Victoria

Having social anxiety at work? Living with social anxiety can cause additional stress in your daily life. You may feel apprehensive about being around other people in public places and worry about how they perceive you. Individuals with social anxiety often find it difficult to attend school or work because they are frequently surrounded by others. Large group settings, like classrooms or offices, can intensify the social anxiety experience.

If you are struggling with social anxiety at work, please know you are not alone. Mind Connections wants you to know that you can take control of your anxiety and find healthy coping mechanisms. Keep reading to learn more about managing anxiety and thriving in the workplace.

What is Social Phobia or Social Anxiety at Work?

If you identify with the questions below, you may be dealing with signs of social anxiety disorder (SAD) or social phobia.

Encounter high levels of stress in your daily life that you may be judged or humiliated
Participating in class, maintaining casual conversation with strangers, or even entering a crowded place make you feel very anxious
Experience not only an emotional reaction to this fear but a physical one as well, such as blushing, trembling, etc.
Fear and anxiety lead to avoidance that can disrupt your life
After a social interaction, spend significant amount of time analyzing your performance and ruminating about your flaws

When someone has social anxiety it can make each day a struggle. Social anxiety makes people fear that others may scrutinize them or make a fool of themselves. In turn, this constant worry leads to dread and even avoidance of social interaction.

How Does Social Anxiety Affect Me in the Workplace?

Social anxiety causes individuals to fear being the center of attention or being perceived and judged by others. Apparently this could lead to self-isolation and avoidance of large group settings. However, many professions require interacting with people regularly, which can be challenging for those with social anxiety. For instance, if you aspire to be a doctor or work in a helping profession, you will likely interact with people throughout the day.

Don’t let social anxiety determine what you can do with your life. If you have always wanted to be, for example, a doctor, do not let your social anxiety prevent you from pursuing your dreams. You deserve to fulfill your aspirations while managing your stress.

If you experience social anxiety at work, you may constantly feel nervous about how you are perceived and judged by your colleagues and supervisor. That is, you may worry about being mocked, criticized, or doubted about your job performance. Additionally, you may struggle to interact with customers or patients due to these fears.

Common Thoughts of Work-Related Social Anxiety

“Everyone is judging me right now they must think I’m doing a horrible job”
“My boss hates me and he’s going to fire me because he noticed that mistake I made 3 weeks ago”
“My coworker seems upset with me- I am anxious! What did I do?”
“I have to make a phone call to a customer I’m very nervous I wish I could just be home by myself”
“My job evaluation is coming up and I don’t want to meet my boss. I am very fearful of what they will say and how they are judging my performance”
“What if someone doesn’t like the work I did and leaves a mean review about me online? How will I defend myself? Will everyone hate me?

How to Deal With Social Anxiety At Work?

1. Practice Relaxation Techniques

If you’re experiencing anxiety, it can be helpful to practice relaxation techniques. For instance, deep breathing exercises can calm your nervous system. Specifically, it entails taking slow, deep breaths and exhaling slowly. Another relaxation exercise is progressive muscle relaxation. You simply tense and relax different muscle groups in your body, promotes physical and mental relaxation. Visualization techniques can also help alleviate anxiety. It is fairly simple to practice as well. Just close your eyes and imagine yourself in a calm and confident state. By doing so, you can help you to stay calm.

2. Challenge Negative Thoughts

Social anxiety often stems from negative thoughts or self-doubt. By challenging negative thoughts, you can develop more realistic and balanced perspectives, reducing social anxiety at work. A typical example is social anxiety during job interviews. How to challenge these thoughts? Here are some strategies:

A). Identify the negative thoughts:

First of all, pay attention to the thoughts that arise before and during job interviews. That is, notice any self-doubt, self-criticism, or negative predictions about the outcome of the job interview. Some negative thoughts could include “They can see how nervous I am”; “I’ll say something stupid”; “They think I’m incompetent”; or “I won’t get the job”.

B). Question the evidence:

Second, ask yourself if there is concrete evidence supporting your negative thoughts. Often, social anxiety leads to distorted thinking. Are your negative assumptions valid? For instance, about the negative thought “I’ll say something stupid”, what’s your track record of saying anything stupid in the past? If you never had such an experience, what is the likelihood you would do it this time?

C). Consider alternative explanations:

After questioning the evidence, you may generate alternative explanations or interpretations for the situation. Literally ask yourself, “Is there another perspective that is more balanced or realistic?” Challenge the automatic negative interpretations with more positive or neutral ones. For example, anxiety might impact your confidence temporarily during the interview, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you will say something foolish.

D). Evaluate the impact of the thoughts:

Next step is to assess the impact of your negative thoughts. Are they helping you perform better or hindering your performance? Recognize that negative thoughts are not necessarily accurate or helpful.

E). Gather supportive evidence:

Last but not least, recall past successes or positive experiences in similar situations. Remind yourself of your skills, qualifications, and strengths. Focus on the evidence that contradicts your negative thoughts. Recall moments when you have spoken confidently and articulately in professional or social settings. Remind yourself of positive feedback or successful interactions you’ve had in the past.

3. Gradual Exposure

Overcoming social anxiety at work can be achieved through a strategy called gradual exposure. This involves facing situations that make you anxious in a gradual manner, starting with less challenging scenarios and progressively moving on to more difficult ones. To some extent, this is like building a fear ladder for you to gradually climb till you feel comfortable with all challenging situations.

For example, if you have social anxiety in team meetings, you can begin by having small conversations with colleagues you are familiar with and then gradually work up to more complex interactions. Before you know it, this gradual approach helps you become less sensitive to social situations and increases your confidence over time.

4. Seek Support

As a matter of fact, it can be very beneficial to seek help from people you trust, like colleagues, pals, or mental health experts, when dealing with social anxiety. They can offer empathy, motivation, and advice on coping methods that work best for you. It’s reassuring to have someone to confide in and rely on during challenging moments, which can significantly improve your mental and emotional health.

5. Prioritize Self-Care

Obviously, overcoming social anxiety in the office requires taking care of your physical and mental health. To achieve this, prioritize getting enough rest, engaging in regular exercise, maintaining a healthy diet, and participating in activities that bring you happiness outside of work. By practicing self-care, you can reduce stress, promote relaxation, and improve your resilience in dealing with social anxiety.

6. Treatment for Social Anxiety or Phobia

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Social Anxiety

As we all know, individuals with social phobia often exaggerate the potential adverse outcomes of events and expect the worst. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a helpful approach to help them view the world in a less intimidating way and positively manage anxiety. CBT enables clients to restructure their beliefs to be more realistic, making social interactions less overwhelming and more manageable for individuals with social anxiety.

Mindfulness-Based therapy

Managing social anxiety disorder can be done through mindfulness meditation. This involves being aware of your thoughts and emotions without reacting or judging them. Guided meditation can help you stay in the present moment and reduce over-analysis. Additionally, a grounding exercise can be effective in managing anxiety quickly. If you experience fears in social situations, you can redirect your attention to focus on your senses, which is an effective

Exposure in Behavior therapy to Treat Social Anxiety at Work

As. mentioned before; exposure therapy is a behavior therapy technique that effectively treats fear and anxiety, including social anxiety. It uses habituation to reduce fear by gradually exposing people to their fears in social settings using a Fear Ladder.

Call now to learn more about how therapy can help you learn how to deal with social anxiety at work!

Content Creator, Victoria Gallo; Reviewed by Dr. June Cao

The Link Between Regular Exercise and Mental Health

Posted on February 23, 2023June 15, 2023 by Victoria

As we all know, exercise can improve our physical health, such as maintain a healthy weight and reduce risk of chronic disease. There is also a strong link between regular exercise and better mental health outcomes. For instance, regular exercise can help alleviate symptoms of anxiety, depression, and stress while also boosting mood and overall well-being. In fact, exercise has tons of benefits to mental health.

The Benefits of Exercise on Mental Health

Scientific Benefits of Exercise

To understand the connection between exercise and mental well-being, it’s important to first understand how exercise affects the brain. When we exercise, our bodies release a number of chemicals that can affect our mood, including endorphins, serotonin, and dopamine.

Specifically, endorphins, the “feel-good” chemicals, can help reduce pain and promote feelings of pleasure. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that is often associated with feelings of happiness and well-being, while dopamine is associated with motivation and reward. By increasing the release of these chemicals, exercise can help improve our mood and overall emotional well-being.

Reduction of Symptoms of Anxiety and Depression

Exercise has been seen to lessen symptoms of anxiety and depression. Harvard shares that exercise helps people keep their minds off of what they are anxious about and “increases anti-anxiety neurochemicals, including serotonin, gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA), brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), and endocannabinoids.”

Many anxious people constantly think about what is stressing or triggering them. Rumination is a term to describe the tendency to dwell on negative thoughts or experiences. When people ruminate, they repeatedly think about and analyze past events, often in a way that is unproductive and causes distress.

According to The OCD and Anxiety Center, “rumination is often a primary symptom in Obsessive-compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Generalized Anxiety Disorder.” Exercise can help people detach from their ruminations and focus their attention on the task at hand. For example, someone may be anxious about giving a speech. They choose to go on a run, and this activity helps break the rumination they had been in; instead of coming on the speech, the person admires nature during their run, the friendly people they see, and the feeling of the breeze hitting their face.

Improvement of Cognitive Function

The CDC states that exercise can improve people’s cognitive function in many ways. Physical activity can help people problem-solve, regulate their emotions, improve memory, and more.

Exercise helps us increase blood flow throughout the body and the brain. When this happens, more oxygen and nutrients go to brain cells, which can improve their overall function. In addition, exercise can stimulate the growth of new brain cells and connections between them, enhancing learning and memory.

Did you know that chronic stress can lead to cognitive decline? Exercise helps lower stress levels in the body and, in turn, can be considered a preventative measure to keep the brain strong. The Alzeherm’s Society says that daily exercise can even reduce the risk of developing this disease by 30%.

Boosted Mood and Improvement of Sleep

Exercise has been seen to help improve people’s moods. As mentioned before, exercise can boost feel-good chemicals like serotonin in people’s bodies. Many people feel very accomplished or happy after completing a workout, especially if it was quite challenging or rigorous. Daily physical activity improves not only people’s moods but also their ability to sleep.

Enhancement of Self-Esteem and Social Connection

As mentioned before, many people feel accomplished after completing an exercise. Achieving fitness goals or simply feeling stronger and healthier can boost self-esteem and confidence, improving mental health and resilience.

Also, participating in exercise, whether individually or as part of a group or team, can provide a sense of purpose and social connection, essential for maintaining mental health and well-being.

It Can Be Challenging to Get Started With Daily Exercise

While exercise has many benefits, motivating ourselves to move can be challenging. Many people may feel overwhelmed and need help figuring out where to start. Going to the gym or signing up for their first workout class can be intimidating to newcomers. Others may fear that they are too busy or don’t have time to exercise each day. Whatever the reason is, we can find best exercise for mental health and stick to a good exercise habit.

How To Exercise More Regularly

Regular exercise is an essential component of a healthy lifestyle, but it can be difficult to incorporate into your daily routines. It might be challenging to find time to exercise between duties to your family, job, and other commitments. However, prioritizing exercise can significantly improve both your physical and emotional wellbeing. Here are some tips for exercise more regularly:

Set Realistic Goals

One of the most important things you can do when starting an exercise routine is to set realistic goals. Be specific about what you want to achieve and set a timeframe for achieving it. For example, if you want to lose weight, set a goal to lose, say 10 pounds in 6 months. This way, it can help you stay motivated and focused on your exercise routine.

Do Exercise You Enjoy:

You may feel that it is challenging to get started exercising because you don’t like going to the gym or lifting weights. The good news is that there are many different types of exercise to choose from, so you’re sure to find something you enjoy! If you don’t like running on the treadmill in the gym, try taking a walk outside at the local park. Or you may like to dance, so sign up for dance exercise classes or Zumba by you. Make working out more interesting and fun by doing activities YOU enjoy!

Schedule Your Exercises

Schedule time for exercise throughout the day to make it a priority. Simply consider it to be a must-attend appointment. Choose a time that works best for you to exercise, whether it is in the morning, the afternoon, or the evening, and stick to it. When it comes to creating a regular fitness schedule, consistency is essential.

Find a Workout Buddy:

If you are nervous to start working out, try finding a friend or group of people to get moving with! Keep each other motivated and encourage each other when either of you are feeling overwhelmed.

You can do things like going on a run with your friend or taking an exercise class together. Finding a workout buddy or group of buddies can make exercising more fun while also helping you socialize more for the day!

Dress Comfortably:

Wear workout clothes that work for you! You don’t need fancy or high-priced exercise gear to get started. Wear what you feel comfortable working out in and what will help you complete your exercise most effectively.

Follow Your Own Path:

Sometimes we get intimidated by the grueling workouts we see fitness gurus or people we know do online. Remember that you can start exercising at a pace and with a routine that fits your comfort level. Take your time and build up to the more advanced workouts.

Be Flexible

As we all know, life can be unpredictable. That is why it’s important to be flexible with your exercise routine. If you miss a workout, don’t beat yourself up about it. Instead, try to make it up the next day or find another way to incorporate physical activity into your day.

Reward Yourself

It is important to reward yourself for sticking to your exercise routine. For example, treat yourself to a massage, a new workout outfit, a healthy meal, or have a cheat day. Indeed, celebrating your progress can help keep you motivated and make exercise feel more rewarding.

Consider Therapy

Exercise is a great way to help improve your mental health, cognitive function, and overall mood and well-being. However, if you are struggling and exercise doesn’t feel like enough, consider therapy! Therapy can help you deal with any stressors or hardships you are dealing with in your life. Call now to learn more about treatment for anxiety, depression, self-esteem building, or any other mental health concern mentioned in this article.

Content Creator, Victoria Gallo; Reviewed by Dr. June Cao

How to Prioritize Your Mental Health in an Uncertain Economy

Posted on February 19, 2023June 15, 2023 by Victoria

How to Prioritize Your Mental Health in an Uncertain Economy

During times of economic uncertainty, such as the current recession, it is hard not to feel stressed, anxious, and even depressed. In particular, more companies have layoffs, recent launching of ChatGPT may cause more job loss. Therefore, it is essential to prioritize your mental health. How can you manage your stress levels when a job loss is a possibility? What methods can you employ to lessen your anxiety and future worry? And how can you put emotional health and self-care first in the middle of a turbulent economy? In this post, we’ll look at how to prioritize your mental health amid tough economic circumstances and find the answers to these concerns.

Why You Don’t Prioritize your Mental Health

There are many reasons why you may not prioritize your mental health. Here are some possible reasons:

Stigma about Mental Health

There, unfortunately, is a lot of stigma about mental health still in this world. As mentioned in a previous article, mental health stigma can be very dangerous. The more stigma there is, the more you don’t feel comfortable discussing your mental health. You may not even discuss, let alone prioritizing your mental health.

For example, there are many stigmas surrounding depression. Many people think of depressed people as lazy people who can’t get over things or get their life together. They don’t see how people who are dealing with depression are really struggling in life. Their depression can make them feel more lethargic, unmotivated, and sad about life; this can make it extremely hard for people to put themselves out there and achieve what others expect of them. The stigma can lead to someone struggling a lot and lacking support in their lives.

Taking Care of Others

You may not prioritize your mental health simply because you are too busy caring for others. For example, many parents or caregivers might put their mental health on the back burner because they have to take care of their kids or loved ones.

Work is Your Priority

You may feel like you are too busy to sit down and prioritize your mental health. As a matter of fact, you may have a very demanding job and find it hard to take time off to care for your mental health. Or, you may be a student, actually it can also feel like a full-time job. Students are so busy studying and trying to do well on exams that addressing their mental health diminishes their study time.

Lack of Self-Worth or Value

If you happen to have low self-esteem, you may not feel the need to prioritize your mental health. If you don’t value yourself or your worth, you may find it hard to take your needs seriously. You may be really struggling with your anxiety or depression, but you can’t find it in yourself to fix these things. This lack of self-worth can stem from your mental issues, and addressing them may help you feel better and find more worth in yourself.

How to Prioritize Your Mental Health in an Uncertain Economy

1. Acknowledge Your Emotions in Times of Uncertainty

In uncertain times, it’s normal to feel concerned, apprehensive, or worried; it’s vital to recognize and validate these sentiments. Spend some time checking in with yourself to see what feelings you are going through. Then, think about coping mechanisms you may employ, such as speaking with someone you trust.

You may be concerned that your emotions make you weak or fragile. This idea, however, is untrue! Showing your emotions and having the courage to be vulnerable is a powerful and brave thing to do. We all have emotions. Embracing your feelings helps you deal with them, especially the difficult ones. It only makes things worse when you push them aside and pretend they aren’t happening or suppress or voice your emotions. Embracing your feelings allows you to face things that scare you.

Journaling to Express your Emotions

As we all know, Journaling is a great way to express and explore your thoughts and feelings. One benefit is that journaling helps you to discover yourself. When you write out your thoughts and visualize them in front of you, it helps you dig deeper into yourself and learn new things about yourself. Here are some helpful journal prompts:

How am I feeling today?
When do you feel the happiest?
What is something you do to make other people happy, but it makes you miserable?
Name three things you love about yourself

Creative writing helps people feel more self-aware and confident. It also is just a really fun activity to take part in. You can be as imaginative and innovative as you’d like. Of course, it is a wonderful way to prioritize your mental health.

2. Prioritize Your Mental Health by Enhancing Self-Care

Self-care is critical at all times, but uncertain times can make it much more so. Ensure that you are attending to your basic needs, such as getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and exercising. To aid in reducing stress and fostering wellbeing, think about adopting additional self-care techniques like yoga, meditation, or going outside. Indeed, various hobbies help you to improve your mental health!

3. Lean on your support systems

In particular during times of stress and uncertainty, social support is essential for maintaining mental health. Social support helps people feel supported in tough times. Go to a loved one to vent to and receive support from. We feel seen and heard when we connect with people who share similar experiences as us. Try talking with a friend who understands what you are going through.

As we all know, social support is critical for people to have. It promotes feelings of safety and comfort in those who need it most. When you need help and support, it’s okay to ask for it! You don’t have to do this alone and deserve to have time for yourself to recharge and take care of your mental health. If you’re feeling particularly overwhelmed, think about joining a support group or speaking with a mental health expert.

4. Develop Mindfulness

You may be present and focused in the present by practicing mindfulness, which can be very useful when faced with uncertainty. Think about include mindfulness exercises like deep breathing exercises, meditation, or visualization techniques in your everyday routine. These techniques can aid in calming the mind and reducing anxiety.

5. Establish a Work-Life Balance

If you are someone who works a lot, you are probably familiar with a work/daily schedule. Here is an idea…try implementing or scheduling in time to relax and take breaks. Stick to this scheduled time and don’t deviate from it- you deserve to get time off of work to relax and do things you enjoy. Watch an episode of your favorite show every night, listen to music you enjoy on your way to work, or plan a dinner that makes you excited to go home and eat it!

If you need, have a mental health day! A mental health day is a day where you dedicate yourself to caring for your well-being. This day allows you to recuperate and get back in touch with practices that improve your mental health.

Taking care of your mental health is vital to living a healthy and happy life. Work and school take up much of our time and can drain us completely. Burnout is real! Researchers share that burnt-out people face intense exhaustion, aversion to their job, and meaninglessness in their work.

6. Find Certainty in the Time of Uncertainty

Focus on What You Can Control

Even while there may be many factors outside your control in uncertain times, there are still certain things you may influence. Pay attention to these things, like your own thoughts and deeds, your daily schedule, and your interactions with other people. You can give your life a sense of security and certainty by concentrating on the things you can control.

Have Structure and Routine

It can be beneficial to establish structure and routine in your life during uncertain times. This can give you a sense of stability and greater control. Create a schedule for yourself that includes regular times for work or school, self-care, and time with family.

Limit your Exposure to Media

In times of uncertainty, it’s critical to keep informed, but too much exposure to the news and media coverage can be debilitating. For example, too much exposure to media about how ChatGPT could take over jobs could heighten feelings of apprehension and doubt. To lessen tension and anxiety, it is essential to stay informed through trustworthy sources while limiting your time spent on news and social media.

Plan for the Future

Even while making plans for the future might be challenging in uncertain times, having a feeling of direction and purpose can be beneficial. Think about making a plan to reach your personal and professional objectives and setting them for yourself. This is another good way to prioritize your mental healthy, that is, it ultimately provides you a sense of structure and stability, as well as more control.

7. Try Therapy to Prioritize Your Mental Health

If you notice that you’ve been continuously struggling in life, you should consider going to therapy. Therapy can help you find tools to build self-esteem, manage stress better and deal with any feelings of sadness or depression.

My team at Mind Connections wants to support you to prioritize your mental health in the trying time! We provide coaching that helps people healthily achieve success and goals in the new year. You deserve to live a happier and healthier life. Call us now to learn more!

Content Creator, Victoria Gallo; Reviewed by Dr. June Cao

How to Deal With Empty Nest Syndrome

Posted on December 15, 2022June 15, 2023 by Victoria

Did your child leave for college or move out? Finding it hard to deal with empty nest syndrome? Like other parents, your life has probably revolved around your kids the day they were born. Now that they grew up and left you, it can be hard to picture your life without them in your house. If you are having difficulty dealing with this transition, it may be important to recognize the stages, the issues, and learn to overcome empty nest syndrome.

What Made Your Nest Empty

Your nest can be empty for many different reasons. Going to college is probably the number one reason. Your child may be moving out or moving on with life, typically they may move into their first apartment or house with a roommate or partner or entering this next chapter alone. In other instances, your child may be traveling or studying abroad for some time. Or your child left because of a huge fight or disagreement neither of you could resolve. Yet the most devastating situation is the passing of a child. Such loss could make the empty nest torturous to stay.

Stages of Empty Nest Syndrome

No matter why your child has left your nest, you are probably dealing with empty nest syndrome. Your child leaving home can feel like you are grieving a loss in your home. As mentioned in our past article, in times of significant loss, Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross says that people go through 5 stages of grief. These stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. People may deal with empty nest syndrome symptoms during these grief stages.

Empty Nest Syndrome Symptoms in the Grief Stages

Denial:

You might feel like you are in denial that your child is old enough to leave the house, go to college, get married, etc. You are thinking, where did the time go?! How is it possible that we are at this stage in our lives? If you lost a child, you might deny that they are gone.

Anger:

You might feel angry. Especially if your child left your house because of an argument, you are probably still hurt or upset over this exchange. You may be mad at yourself for letting this happen or for being unable to stop the situation from worsening. You also might feel angry at yourself for feeling upset at a time that should be happy, like your child’s start of college or wedding. If your child has passed, you may be angry that they were taken from you so young and robbed of living their life.

Bargaining:

In the bargaining stage of grief, many people pled with a higher power to change their situation. Many people who lost a child may wish to trade places with their child or pray for a miracle to bring them back.

Depression:

As you look at the room your child once occupied, you may have feelings of sadness and loneliness. Empty nest syndrome and depression can go hand in hand. You may feel lost about your plan moving forward; you are so used to caring for your child, and now you have to figure out your next step.

Acceptance:

In the final stage of this process, you will detach or resign from this grief; this doesn’t mean you will not miss your child anymore. In reality, you are just trying to move on with your life and find inner peace once more.

Unique Stages of Empty Nest Syndrome

Constant Checking-In:

When your child moves away from you, you may feel inclined to check in constantly with them. You want to ensure they are doing okay, so you contact them through text messages, phone calls, or video chats.

Facing Loneliness or Boredom:

Having a close relationship with your children is wonderful; however, the closer you are, the harder it may feel when you eventually separate from them. You and your child may have had fun doing everything together: shopping, going on adventures, cooking, or even just enjoying each other’s company by being together. You may feel bored or lonely when your child has left the nest.

Finding Joy:

Alternatively, you may find that you enjoy your life after your child leaves the nest. You love your child, but enjoy your new-found free time from them. Some people may make you feel guilty for feeling this way and make you feel “parent guilt.”

How to Deal With Empty Nest Syndrome

Coping with empty nest syndrome is a part of life when you may redefine your own identity. You may be dealing with both empty nest syndrome and midlife crisis or relationships all at the same time. It is time to explore your own needs and find other joys in life.

1. Allow Yourself to Feel Your Emotions

When your child leaves the nest, you might be going through an array of emotions. As mentioned before, you may go through grief or mourning stages. Don’t be afraid to explore these emotions and allow yourself to feel what you need to feel.

For instance, you can explore your emotions through journaling and writing down what is going on in your mind. These words may feel too intimidating or upsetting to say out loud, so you can channel them onto paper. You can also vent to a trusted friend and lean on support. Talk with loved ones about what you are experiencing and be open to their comfort or advice. Research shows that viewing art helps people lower stress levels. Creating art also has many advantages. Getting artistic can help people better process their emotions.

2. Get in Touch With Yourself Again

As a parent, you may put your heart and soul into raising your child. After years of dedication, you might have lost touch with your inner dreams and goals. Think to yourself: Who am I? What do I want out of life? What do I plan for this next chapter in my life? You may want to find empty nest syndrome self-care tips. Do you want to:

Travel?
Practice a new hobby?
Make new friends?
Finish a goal you put on hold while raising your kids?
Redecorate the house?

Write down some goals or list plans you’d like to make. You could also make a vision board – a vision board is a fun way to visualize what you want in the future to happen. People take all different types of photos and make a collage depicting what they aim for their future to look like.

3. Improve Your Relationship With Your Partner

Empty nest syndrome and relationships can be tricky but important to address. You and your partner may decide to work on your relationship now that you have an empty nest. For instance, you can take this time to travel together or accomplish plans you both always wanted to do with one another. In fact, having an empty nest may make you and your partner see different sides of each other. You will find out what your relationship is like now that your kids are grown up.

4. Build Strong Relationships with Your Adult Children

One of the key elements to overcome Empty Nest Syndrome is to maintain strong relationships with your adult children. Specifically, set up regular video calls, text, or visit them if possible. Learning to adapt to a different relationship dynamic with your children now that they have left. Investing time in your relationships can help you feel more connected and fulfilled.

5. Work on Your Friendships – New and Old

You may now have more free time to invest in your friendships with people. For example, you can use this time to meet up with old friends you’ve lost touch with, plan trips with your friend group, or even make new friends. Simply make new friends by joining teams, clubs, or groups! Like what you did in your earlier years, join a romance book club or a sports team!

6. Join an Empty Nest Syndrome Support Group

As a matter of fact, other parents are going through the same feelings you are with your empty nest! Be open to join an empty nest syndrome support group with people who can help you feel understood and supported at this time.

As we all know, a social support system is essential to a happy and healthy life for most people. Even if you just have one friend you feel understands you, it can make a world of difference in your life. A support group provides a place where people can share personal stories, express emotions, and be heard. That is, support groups foster an atmosphere of acceptance, understanding, and encouragement. Together, group members learn to solve problems and cope with various issues in life. Without a doubt, healing and growth happens when a group of people come together and just listen to each other.

7. Seek Professional Help

If you are struggling with your empty nest, know that you are not alone and support is out there for you! Therapy can help you find ways to cope healthily with your emotions, grieve, explore yourself, and navigate this new chapter of your life!

You and your partner can also explore couples therapy. Couple’s Counseling can help you and your partner communicate better. A couple’s counselor is a third party who can provide an unbiased opinion on the situation. They can also teach you skills to communicate better and understand each other.

June Cao and the Mind Connections team want to help you; call now!

Content Creator, Victoria Gallo; Reviewed by Dr. June Cao

Tips to Navigate Your Healing Journey

Posted on October 24, 2022March 6, 2023 by Victoria

Are you on a self healing journey from deep struggles? Ever wonder whether it is even possible to heal from emotional wounds?
Any things get in the way of your healing journey? Maybe you have been hurting for too long, feel it’s too late to change, or you’ve tried so many different things but still feel stuck?
How would you promote your own healing? What are important to learn to heal from your past and thrive in the life you want to live?

You may be struggling from depression or anxiety, been in a trauma, feeling rejected, or having a broken heart, When things are so overwhelming, it’s natural to feel defeated. No wonder you would doubt about the emotional healing process – I can barely survive this. How could it be possible to feel happy again and move on in my life?

However, healing is absolutely possible when you are determined to recover and rebuild yourself. A healing journey is a transformative time in someone’s life. It requires work to make changes, including your behaviors, your thoughts, and consequently your feelings.

Who Need To Start a Healing Journey?

People with Trauma or PTSD

Many people in this world have unfortunately experienced traumatic events. As a result, they can develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is an anxiety disorder that develops after exposure to a traumatic experience. Traumatic experience can include violent personal assaults, hate crimes, natural or human-caused disasters, accidents, abuse, or military combat.

PTSD can cause many symptoms like intrusive memories, flashbacks of traumatic events, constant nightmares, avoidant behavior, numbness, hopelessness, etc. PTSD can also manifest in physical and emotional reactions (the person is easily startled, hypervigilant, angry, guilty, shameful, has sleep difficulty, or destructive behaviors of drinking, & using drugs).

Someone with PTSD hopes to heal some of their trauma and live a less affected life by their challenging past.

People Who are Dealing With Grief or Loss

Abby is experiencing a major loss in her life – the death of her best friend. Daisy was her right-hand person; the person she laughed with, made her most meaningful memories alongside, and loved unconditionally.

She feels the presence of her best friend missing in her life. Unlike people who go through friend breakups, there is no chance of a reunion when a friend passes away. Grieving someone’s death can be very trying on a person.

As mentioned in our past article, in times of significant loss, Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross says that people go through 5 stages of grief. These stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

People don’t only grieve other people; they also can grieve the loss of a pet, situation, job, etc. Abby also lost her job this year. This situation can be very upsetting and hard to cope with, especially when the job search is so challenging nowadays.

People Going Through Breakups

Breakups can happen for many reasons and can cause a lot of pain. Losing the love you once had for someone or separating from your partner can make your heart feel like it is shattering. You may feel betrayed, abandoned, confused, or guilty about the breakup. At least temporarily, this could make you doubt your worthiness. You may tell yourself, “I’m not likable or lovable”, “Nobody wants me”, or even “I’m worthless”.

As mentioned before, not all breakups have to be romantic – friendship breakups can hurt someone deeply. People going through any type of breakup need to heal and move forward.

People Who Struggle With Body Image

Many people, unfortunately, struggle to accept their bodies. Someone with body dysmorphia (BDD) is concerned about a certain body part/feature. The person thinks about this body part(s) constantly throughout each day and often experiences distress. The person with BDD looks at this body part as a flaw or something to be embarrassed about. What causes Body Dysmorphia remains unknown; however, its influences can include the pressure of societal beauty standards, critical/abusive parents, and low self-esteem.

Accepting and appreciating your body can be challenging. As mentioned in our article about body acceptance, we as a society feel the need to reinvent ourselves and constantly “glow up.” This societal pressure makes many of us might feel the need to change ourselves to please others. Sadly, people often treat others who don’t fit society’s made-up standards poorly. With all of these external stressors, a person can find it hard to love their body from the inside out – they need to heal their relationship with their body.

People With A Wounded Inner Child

Children can grow up in homes that neglected or abused them. These homes made them feel like their voice didn’t matter, they weren’t cared for, and love had to be earned. Inner child healing is all about comforting the child you once were. If you experienced trauma or abuse as a child has probably affected you in your adult life. Inner child work focuses on healing from the pain of the past. The child who was once scared, alone, forgotten, or hurt can now be seen and embraced.

In a study, the data shows that people’s inner child can majorly affect their lives. For example, the inner child can influence things like how someone treats or views future generations. This is why it is essential to heal your inner child and find peace from the trauma or challenging past events.

How Do You Know You Need to Start Your Emotional Healing Journey?

Here are some signs that you should start a healing journey:

You have gone through a traumatic or hard time in your life
You can’t let go of the past and move on – guilt, shame, or any other negative emotions always are floating around in your body
There are some major changes you wish to see happen in your life
You’ve become withdrawn and separated from the people and things you once loved to see and do
You aren’t happy with how your life is right now
There is a lot of hurt and pain in your body that you don’t now how to cope with in a healthy way

How to Start Your Healing Journey

1. Check In With Yourself

Some people are unaware of how much they’ve been struggling. It may take a loved one pointing it out to them or a good look in the mirror to see what their life has become. Take time to reflect on your life recently:

Have you been going through a tough time?
Has anything in your life recently caused you pain, grief, loss, anger, etc.?
Did you go through a significant life event like a breakup or losing a loved one?
Has your routine changed? Do you feel different emotions (ones of sadness, anger, disbelief, confusion)?

Allow yourself to answer these questions honestly. You could even journal your answers to fully explore these prompts and see the words presented in front of you.

If it feels like you need help after reviewing these answers, now can be the time to start your emotional healing process.

2. Be Open to Help and Lean on Support

Are you someone who hates asking for help? Do you feel like a burden going to people about your problems? If so, it can be hard for you to open up and be vulnerable with those around you. Know that you don’t have to be the “strong” one always and that sharing how you feel is not a weakness – it’s truly powerful to open up.

Your loved ones want to help you! They have probably been sitting by wondering when you’ll finally be ready to open up and come to them for support. Lean on these people! If you don’t feel like you have a support system, you can look towards support groups or therapy options.

3. Have Patience with Your Healing Journey

Healing can take time; the process is not always linear. You may feel like you are progressing in your journey (you are getting back to your routine, being more social, etc.) and other times when you can barely get out of bed. You may also have times when you go back to old vices you thought you healed from, like drinking alcohol or partaking in dangerous behavior.

Have faith in yourself and your abilities. Even if you feel like a downward cycle, you can always rise again. In life, we all have ups and downs. Have patience with your healing journey, and remember to be proud of any progress you make.

Encourage yourself and be your number one supporter. Also, show yourself self-love and self-compassion in times when you feel like you made a mistake or aren’t where you want to be in life.

4. Allow Yourself to Feel and Manage Your Emotions

To heal and move on from challenging situations, you have to face the feelings that sting or cause us pain. In times of distress or tragedy, you can experience various emotions and experiences. As mentioned before, many people go through the five stages of grief.

It can be easy to try and turn off our emotions and rely on coping mechanisms that can be unhealthy. Try your best to look within and embrace rather than rebuke what you are going through. Hiding away your emotions will make it harder to let go and heal.

Some ways to do so are by:

Journaling to explore your emotions and check in with yourself
Venting to a friend and letting yourself open up to them
Joining support groups with people you can relate to or who are going through similar experiences
Composing a letter to yourself and being as honest as possible.
Writing a letter to the person you miss, are angry with, upset by etc. Let them know how you feel and what is on your mind – use this letter to vent your feelings. You don’t have to send this letter; keep it and reflect on it when you feel similar emotions.
Listening to music that makes you feel different emotions, like a happy or sad song
Watching emotion-provoking movies or TV episodes

You can cope with stress in these times by practicing mindfulness and allowing yourself to find peace in the present moment and center yourself.

5. Develop an Action Plan

For better prevention, intervention, and recovery, list all activities on your schedule. For example, things you can do to make you feel better:

follow your daily routine, such as exercise for half an hour, have healthy meals, meditation, regular bed time, and good sleep;
find triggers that could lead to negative emotions, such as an argument with someone, a financial loss, or some health issues. Then list things you can do to help yourself, such as, meditation, relaxation, talk to a friend or family, exercise, music, etc.;
notice early warning signs of certain issues, such as tiredness, over-sleep or less sleep, emotional eating, irritability, and isolation;
remind yourself of signs that things are getting much worse, such as more severe depression, a hard time getting out of bed, crying spells. It is important to list things to do to help you feel better quickly. For instance, get your prescription, contact your doctor or therapist;

6. Set Boundaries

When we are in bad spaces in our lives, we often end up in situations that aren’t the best. This can lead to people taking advantage of us or our lack of boundaries we have set in life. One part of healing is allowing ourselves to take up the space we may have thought we didn’t deserve at one point.

It also means creating limits with people and letting ourselves create distance from people who may benefit from our lack of boundaries. Some people may notice you changing during your journey of healing and growth; the people who want what’s best for us will be happy to see us thriving. People who want the opposite may be unhappy with these changes. Remember that you deserve to have caring people who respect you and what makes you comfortable or happy in life.

7. Consider Therapy on Your Healing Journey

If you have emotional wounds, struggle with negative thoughts, or repeat unhealthy or destructive behaviors, don’t hesitate to get help. Therapy can help you heal from past trauma, find healthy coping mechanisms, and live happier lives. Dr. June and therapists on her team would like to help you!

If you’ve been through trauma and have PTSD, therapy can help you heal. Trauma-focused PTSD treatment helps clients reduce trauma symptoms and improve their capacity for life. A therapist can create a PTSD treatment plan to help treat your trauma. Typical trauma therapy approaches may include:

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT)
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (PTSD therapy EMDR or PTSD eye therapy)
Mindfulness-Based Therapy
PTSD Exposure Therapy

A therapist can help you heal from a grief-causing event in your life. Our therapists provide effective and supportive relationship counseling and can help you deal with your breakup, work on your self-esteem, and improve yourself. Treatment can also help people grieve significant losses in their lives. Grief can make people enter stages of depression. For some people, such sad and depressive feelings could persist for a long time. If you also withdraw from others, constantly have negative thoughts about yourself, others, and the world, lose interest, stop engaging in life, or even have suicidal thoughts, you may be facing clinical depression that requires treatment.

Finally, therapy can be beneficial if you need help healing your relationship with your body! A therapist can help you deal with any eating disorder or body dysmorphia you face. You deserve to live a happy and healthy life – one that allows you to be kind to your body and treat it with care.

Content Creator, Victoria Gallo; Reviewed by Dr. June Cao

How to Deal With Golden Child Syndrome

Posted on September 29, 2022October 1, 2023 by Victoria

Have you been considered the golden child your entire life? If so, you may face “golden child syndrome” later in life. Golden child syndrome is when a person is deemed the “perfect” or “successful” child growing up. This is the child the parents and other family members seem to have the most expectations for. As you can expect, a lot of pressure goes along with being the golden boy or golden girl. The effects of people always expecting so much out of you can start to hinder the trajectory of the rest of your life!

If you struggle with golden child syndrome, this article is for you! Keep reading to learn more about golden child syndrome and ways to cope with the pressures and expectations it comes with.

What it Means to Be a Golden Child

You may wonder what it means to be the golden child. What does golden child syndrome entail? Let’s go over some characteristics a typical golden child possesses.

Gets Good Grades

The golden child is notorious for getting good grades in school. A golden child will likely be the child that excels in school. They get A’s on every test, make outstanding school projects, and a bunch of awards stacked on their shelves. The parents beam with joy every time the golden child comes home with another glowing report card or note from the teacher. Grades can mean a lot to students of all ages and can impact their self-esteem greatly. According to the NCBI, “youth with higher grades showed relative increases in peer relationship self-esteem.” Alternatively, if a child gets “bad” or lower grades it can make them feel down about themselves and their capabilities. Ibuyers is a great option for those who desire to sell their homes quickly due to the fact that they purchase all types of property. Visit https://www.ibuyers.app/minnesota/.

Stays Out of Trouble and Helps

A golden child usually is never the one in trouble at home or school. The golden child stays out of trouble and is never called to the principle’s office or talked poorly about at a parent-teacher conference. At home, their good behavior usually continues. They rarely are the ones fighting or arguing with their siblings. They may even be the sibling that makes peace between the kids. Golden children often help their parents around the house, They are the ones who help clean up, set the table, take out the garbage, cook, etc. As you can see, golden children often assume much responsibility.

Pressured By Their Parents

Golden children care deeply about their parent’s opinions. How could they not? Parents of golden children often shower the child in praise, set very high expectations for them, and rely heavily on their contributions to the family. As mbgmindfulness reports, golden children are often the product of narcissistic parents. The parents will rely heavily on the golden child to boost their self-esteem, often gloating about their child’s accomplishments to other people. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a disorder that affects .5% of Americans. People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are usually characterized as feeling like they are above others. People with this disorder desire things like power, attention, and envy from others.

The DSM 5 definition of NPD:

Constant feelings of grandiosity and superiority A desire for unlimited power, control, success
An insatiable need for attention
A belief in being better than others
A High sense of entitlement
Exploitative relationships – using or taking advantage of others
A Lack of empathy
A Large deal of envy
Arrogance

This disorder affects not only the ones with NPD but also the people in their lives. NPD causes the sufferer to navigate the world in a challenging way. They often carry many traits that are hard for others to deal and get along with.

The Negative Side of Being the Golden Child

People who have been labelled “golden children” their entire lives can face some troubling effects. Meanwhile, being the golden child in a family can lead to many long-term issues in relationships, parenting, work, mental health, and wellbeing such as self-worth and self-esteem.

Stress, Burnout, Depression, and Anxiety

A golden child may have no childhood; that is to say, they assume an adult role very early as a child. They may only focus on productive tasks or whatever can help them to build a perfect resume. In order to get praise, approval, attention, and love from their parents, a golden child will need to be a high achiever and reach perfection constantly. Of course they have to work very hard to meet parents’ expectations. For one thing, they can feel extreme pressure in their lives. These people will feel the weight of the world on their shoulders. In other words, high expectations for them will loom over them constantly. This immense stress can even lead to burnout. Due to the pressures to perform, achieve, and care for others, golden boys and golden girls may be more likely to develop anxiety and depression.

Boundary Issue

Apparently parents expect their golden boys and golden girls to fulfill parents’ dreams, but not children’s. The end result? Children have none of their own goals because parents have repeatedly violated the boundary. Consequently, children may feel empty inside when they try to pursue parents’ life goals.

Part of the Gold Child Syndrome – People-Pleaser

It may feel like the golden child is always looking for other people’s approval. This constant need to make other’s happy can lead the golden child to develop people-pleasing habits. A people pleaser is someone who is usually liked by others for being easy-going and very agreeable. Dr. Sherry Pagoto believes that people start people-pleasing because they fear rejection from others. Pagoto thinks that people’s pleasing tendencies can start in childhood. If parents are overly hard on their kids for the mistakes they make, the child can grow up to develop anxiety over disappointing others.

The Narcissist Golden Child vs. The Scapegoat

Without a doubt, the golden child could easily develop narcissism because of all favorite treatment from parents. The negative effects of being a golden child can also extend to the other siblings in the family. When there is a narcissist golden child, unfortunately there is usually a scapegoat in the family. In fact, the golden child and scapegoat dynamic in siblings often causes dysfunctional family relationships and affects both children in serious ways. The scapegoat may view the golden child as their competition; a person that they will never measure up to. They may strive for their parents love, but feel like they will never receive the affection the golden child does. The golden child and their siblings may all struggle with self-esteem issues brought on by their parent’s praise and neglect of the children.

The AAPI Community and the Golden Child Syndrome

In the AAPI community, a golden child is usually a golden boy because the son almost always favored when he is supposed to carry the family name. Of course golden girls are not uncommon nowadays.

Truth be told, the “golden child” label puts a lot of pressure on a person growing up. People in the AAPI community face another stressful label, the “model minority.” The model minority label upholds the idea that AAPI people are extremely hardworking and easily succeed in school and work. While this seems may seem like a good thing, this theory actually stems from racism against AAPI people in America. Both labels put extreme expectations and pressure on children growing up.

The pandemic has brought so much more discrimination to AAPI communities. A child that is in the AAPI community needs to be supported now more than ever. The label of golden child or model minority only harms a person growing up and can lead them to face the negative effects mentioned before.

How to Cope With the Golden Child Syndrome

1. Awareness

Improving awareness is the first step to transformation because you need to acknowledge what’s causing you pain in order to change it. Indeed, it is important to get to know yourself outside of who your parents told you to be. One way to get better insight is to go inward and discover who you are and what you really want, rather than what your parents want from you,

2. Boost Self-Love and Support in Your Life

Many golden children rely on other people for their validation. Their entire lives have been comprised of praise from other people. This can make someone constantly feel like they need to achieve and get noticed by others. It can be hard for this person to look within themselves and find self-worth.

One way to heal from being a golden child is to take your power back and embrace it from within. Work on building your self esteem! Watch how you speak to yourself. Negative self-talk causes someone to bring their confidence down. The words you say to yourself matter so be mindful or what you say. Talking kindly to yourself and using words of encouragement or affirmations can help improve the way you view yourself.

As mentioned before, golden children often look for validation from other people. Since they crave that approval, failing and not being applauded can harm them greatly. Golden children can find it hard to be supportive to themselves in moments of failure. Building self-compassion is necessary in these times.

3. Stop Measuring Your Worth By Success

You are so much more than the what you can do for people or how much you’ve achieved in life. If you take away all the awards and accolades, you would still be you (and that is enough). Success can be wonderful to experience, but it doesn’t define your life. No one will ever be perfect; we are humans, after all.

Growing up as a golden child, you felt like you received love by how much you impressed and pleased others. Challenge your idea of what love means – you deserve to have people who care about you for YOU, not just what you can do for them.

4. Prioritize Your Needs and Boundaries

People who grew up as golden children can struggle with people-pleasing. People-pleasers often struggle saying “no” to people and setting boundaries. Setting boundaries and honoring your comfort level/limits is important; we all deserve to prioritize our needs and wants in life. Setting boundaries allows us to take control of our lives and enforce what we are and are not okay with happening.

When people don’t respect our boundaries, it shows us that they don’t truthfully respect us. Someone who respects you would want to make sure your comfort levels and needs were being protected.

5. Detach From Toxic People

As mentioned in the past sections, someone who should be in your life should respect and honor your boundaries. If there are people in your life who don’t do so or just negatively impact your life overall, know that you don’t have to continue allowing them in your life.

If people are still holding toxic standards or expectations over you, putting you in uncomfortable situations, or making you feel bad about yourself know that you don’t deserve this treatment. Distancing yourself from people who hurt you isn’t “mean” or uncalled for; it is necessary to maintaining your personal peace and happiness in life. You deserve to have amazing people around you that uplift and encourage you, rather than tearing you down.

6. Heal Your Inner Child

Since many people are labelled “golden child” from their parents and at an early age, they made need to do some inner-child work to cope. If you are interested in learning more, check out Mind Connection’s article for healing your inner child.

Use journaling, mindfulness meditation, or other forms to help to better understand yourself and improve acceptance. Acknowledge your limitations and efforts as a child. Practice using tools to empower yourself to make your own decisions as an adult.

7. Therapy Can Help You, Today!

Therapy can help golden children deal with the pressures and stress they face and how these things have affected their lives. I offer many services that can help you cope healthily with issues in your life – I provide therapy that helps people deal with tough relationships in their lives, self-esteem issues, and stress management – all topics a golden child (or former golden child) can come across.

I, along with the amazing therapists at Mind Connections, also specialize in helping Asian-Americans. Our therapists understand and advocate for this community, always!

Content Creator, Victoria Gallo; Reviewed by Dr. June Cao

How to Cope with a Bad Day at Work

Posted on August 16, 2022March 6, 2023 by Victoria

Ever wonder how to reduce work stress? How to deal with burnout at work? or how to get over a bad day at work? If you go to work every day, you know the stress it can bring. Some days you feel motivated and excited to be on the job. On these days, your work gets recognized, you’re laughing with your favorite coworker, you have a tasty lunch, or you get to leave early. However, good days can feel far away sometimes at work. There will be days when work feels draining, and you reluctantly push yourself to get through. How to cope with these problems? This article will improve understanding and discuss tips of healthy coping.

What Could Cause Stress and a Bad Day at Work?

1. Issues with Coworkers

Depending on where you work, you may love or hate your coworkers. There are some places where coworkers become your best friend or even begin to feel like your second family. That is, these people make you feel supported, help you with tasks that need assistance, and create an overall welcoming environment.

It is definitely great to have coworkers like this! Unfortunately, some people do not have this same luxury. Sometimes people have horrible relationships with the people they work with or for. In other words, some coworkers will treat you with hostility and make you feel like you are a bother for asking questions or needing assistance. Other times, there is nothing overtly wrong with the relationship between you and your coworkers, but you all just don’t click. As a result, you may feel like you have no friends at work, lonely, and that your days are full of meaningless small talk and awkwardness.

2. Troubles with Your Boss

Theoretically speaking, a boss should be the person in the office, ensuring a happy and welcoming atmosphere is maintained. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case; they might be at the head of your toxic work environment. Gallup’s Guide shows that one of the top reasons for an employee to leave the job is poor management and leadership.

In fact, some bosses can be quite toxic to deal with. They may micromanage you; you constantly feel like you are being watched under a lens by someone waiting to scold you for a mistake you made. Other times, bosses can make you feel like you don’t matter to them or the company. You’ll feel disposable and put up with their constant criticism or disappointment.

3. Difficult Customers, Clients, or Patients

Sometimes it’s not necessarily the place or people you work with; it could be the people you help or assist that make you feel terrible. Admittedly, some people treat workers horribly. People will be rude to servers, yell at customer service representatives, or just have overall negative attitudes that they spread to everyone they encounter that day. Even if you try your best to help someone, you may still receive rude behavior. Sure enough, this behavior makes you feel awful and ruins your day!

4. Mistakes Were Made

No matter how hard you try, mistakes are still inevitable. As a result, you may have a lousy work day because you learned you made a mistake. Without a doubt, mistakes can be embarrassing, especially if your other coworkers notice them. Your boss may be understanding and give you some helpful guidance, however other times they may get mad at you or call you into their office. Very often, this meeting can ruin your day!

5. All Work and No Play

We dedicate a lot of our lives to work. Obviously there will be times when you might miss your family or friends because work starts consuming your life. Do you remember the last time you had fun or went out? If you are a parent, you may get home late from work and miss eating dinner with your family or putting your kid to bed. Obviously this lack of time with your loved ones can make your day feel empty and frustrating.

Actually overwork is another major reason why employees quit their jobs. Constant overwork apparently leads to burnout and turnover. It could easily cause both physical and emotional exhaustion. That is, it does not only make a bad day, but a bad job.

Work Stress and Burnout Affects Mental Health

When too many bad days at work accumulate, they could easily turn to work stress and burnout. Work can become a huge source of stress in our lives. We can get stressed over many things in a professional setting. Typically these stressors can include:

Deadlines and work piling up
Career changes or thoughts of switching professions or jobs
To-do lists that feel like they will never get done
Lack of work-life balance
The stress if being overworked, underpaid, or more

Actually constant stress over work can be a sign you have anxiety. According to MedlinePlus, stress is “a feeling of emotional or physical tension.” The NIMH states that anxiety usually lives within someone and is chronic. Stress usually goes away after the agitating experience or events pass, whereas someone with anxiety feels symptoms constantly. Work can cause a lot of stress in someone’s daily life.

Also, many people, unfortunately, struggle so much that they face burnout. The MayoClinic defines job burnout as work-related stress that exhausts people physically and emotionally. Researchers suggest that people with burnout face intense exhaustion, aversion to their job, and meaninglessness in their work. Without a doubt, job burnout takes the enjoyment someone once had for their career and squashes it in its tracks.

How to Cope with Work Stress and a Bad Day at Work

We spend most of our days during the week at our job and invest so much time into it. Since we dedicate so much of our lives at work, obviously it is disappointing when we have bad experiences. It feels like we put so much effort in only to get negative results and stress. How to get over a bad day then? Below are some tips:

1. Acknowledge Your Emotions

It is crucial to allow yourself to feel your emotions. When work stresses you out, you may feel overall down and distressed. Please don’t ignore your emotions; instead, embrace them. Why? Because keeping feelings bottled up can cause adverse effects on your life. When you are sad, having a good cry can help to let out your emotions.

To produce more cathartic experiences, you can listen to sad songs, watch emotional movies, or try journaling. Journaling can help you explore how you feel and get to the root of where your emotions are stemming from.

2. Practice Self-Talk

Usually you are more aware of your emotions, rather than what triggered such emotions. For example, you could feel upset and stay frustrated for a long time. Why? Simply because you may have negative self-talk due to work stress. Such negative self-talk could color your thinking in may ways and consequently affect your emotions and behaviors. How to change negative self-talk to a rational one then?

Slow down and visualize a STOP sign in front of you. There are different ways to slow yourself down
- ~ Take deep breaths;
- ~ Tap your shoulders or laps to calm yourself down;
- ~ Walk to a different room or outside;
- ~ Wash your hands for extended time;
Ask yourself, “What’s going on?” “What when through my mind?”
Once you figured out those negative thoughts, ask yourself, “If this happens to my best friend, what would I say to them?” You probably would not say “I bet your boss hates you”, or “I can never do anything right because I am just stupid”.
Change to rational self-talk. Rational self-talk does not have to be positive, it can be neutral as long as it is not emotional. For instance, “I can never do anything right” may be changed to “I made a mistake this time. but this helps me to learn my lesson to improve next time.”

3. Practice Self-Care

When you have bad days, it is essential to practice self-care. For example, when you weren’t treated kindly, maybe by a rude customer or angry boss, you still need to ensure you are treating yourself kindly. In fact, self-care can fall under many categories; you must do what’s best for you.

Self-care options can include:

Engaging in activities that make you happy, like practicing your hobbies or interests
Doing things that help you relax and recharge
- Getting enough sleep, taking a nap, showering, doing skincare
Taking care of your body by feeding it with nurturing food or drinking enough water
Getting your body moving and active
Taking a social media to cleanse and logging off for the night

As a matter of fact, exercising after work can help you feel more relieved if you work remotely or at an office desk all day. Your body may be stiff, and getting it moving through exercise can help you release some of that tension.

4. Vent to Friends and Loved Ones

In tough times, you can benefit from the support of your loved ones around us. After a tough time at work, don’t be afraid to voice your concerns to a loved one. Truth be told, holding in your emotions all to yourself can feel more overwhelming. Instead, allow yourself to open up to others and speak about what you are going through.

Specifically, ask your friend if they can help you. Talk about your issues with them and be open to any advice they may offer you. When you can vent to more people you trust, it actually can help you to reduce stress significantly. The rationale behind it is called desensitization. By repeating your story, the intensity of your emotions can decrease and you could feel better.

5. Increase Self-Compassion

As mentioned before, making mistakes at work can feel embarrassing or upsetting. You may feel discouraged and unmotivated to keep trying. Don’t let your mistakes define you; we all make mistakes, and that’s okay! We are human after all.

Treat yourself with compassion and forgiveness. Remind yourself that mistakes happen, and they aren’t all bad. Indeed, mistakes help us grow, learn, and become better, wiser people. If we make a mistake at work, it can help us know better for next time.

6. Create Boundaries and Work-Life Balance

It can be intimidating to set boundaries at work, but they are essential. We all need a work-life balance. That is, it is not healthy to work all days of the week and never have time to relax, have fun, and see our loved ones. You can start with little steps each day. This can include:

Logging off from your computer or work platform at a set time each day
Decreasing your screen time
Not checking emails after a certain time or on the weekend
Saying “no” more often and not people-pleasing as much

7. Block out Environmental Stressors

As mentioned before, coworkers and supervisors could very well be the reason why you have a bad day at work. Maybe they are having a bad day themselves and spread the mood to you, or maybe their gossips, interactions, and relationships make the work environment more like a dysfunctional family. Whatever it is, you can choose to block out such environmental stressors. Specifically, you can

close your office door if possible;
go outside to get some fresh air;
take a break and leave your desk if you need to;
plug in your headphones, or
get “busy” with phone calls, projects, or anything that can help you to manage those stressors.

8. End the Day with a Clean Slate After a Bad Day at Work

As we all know, it is hard not to bring work stress back home and allow your mood to affect your family life. Since the pandemic started, more people work from home. As convenient as it is, this may easily blur the boundary between work and life. In other words, work may continue to affect at the end of the day because your office and living room or even bedroom are literally in the same place. How to end the day with a clean slate then? Here are a few tips:

Write down a list of tasks that you need to accomplish at work tomorrow. Leave it on your desk and wait till tomorrow to handle;
Make a conscious decision to leave work brain at work and not to bring work related issues back home;
Wash your hands before leaving work. Remind yourself to wash away everything frustrating at work down the sink and go home with a clean mind to your family;
Change your clothes after work. Tell yourself this changes to your family life;
Remind yourself that you work to live, not live to work.

9. Consider Therapy for Work Stress or Burnout

Therapy can help you with any work struggle/general life struggle you are facing! A therapist can give you the tools to handle work stress better, implement mindfulness techniques, and eliminate negative thoughts from your bad days.

If you notice that you feel more stress and it is lingering, you may have anxiety. If you find yourself experiencing endless stress every day, this is not healthy. Talking to a mental health professional can help how to cope with work stress. You will find ways to cope and deal with stressors in your life while still taking care of yourself and living a healthier life.

We offer support for all of the services mentioned above. You don’t have to face your worries alone – learn how to cope with work stress now! Call to set up a consultation today!

Content Creator, Victoria Gallo; Reviewed by Dr. June Cao